Hidden heroes: gay men who donate sperm and are helping families conceive

Newborn In Vitro Baby

Each Australian state has different laws in place regarding sperm donation, but generally each donor is allowed to donate to up to 10 families or 10 women in each state, including their own family Source: Moment RF / ©fitopardo/Getty Images

SBS interviewed two gay men who shared their stories as sperm donors in Australia — one as an anonymous donor of a sperm bank and the other as a private donor for a lesbian couple he met on Facebook.


Rodrigo* decided to make a sperm donation anonymously through an insemination clinic, a process which saw him and his boyfriend sign a declaration authorising the whole process.
They currently don't plan on having biological children, but they are considering expanding their family by adopting a child in the future.

However, he may never meet the people whom he's helping.
Handsome gay couple on Campus
A doação de sêmen tem ganhado bastante visibilibidade ultimamente, principalmente na comunidade LGBTQ+ na Austrália. Credit: David Levingstone/Getty Images
Igor Branco, 36, has a biological child with his ex-wife and is now in a relationship with a man.

Their dream is to find a surrogate mother willing to get pregnant with the sperm of Igor's partner through IVF, so he could also have a biological child.

Mr Branco also decided to donate his sperm to a lesbian couple who approached him on a private group for parents from the LGBTQ+ community on Facebook.

Sperm donation in Australia

Each Australian state has different laws in place regarding sperm donation, but generally, an individual is allowed to donate to up to 10 families or 10 women in each state, including their own family members.

Rodrigo decided to become an anonymous donor to an IVF clinic in Adelaide.

He says the entire process took more than a year — including countless interviews with psychologists, medical exams with geneticists and seminars about the donation process until his sperm was finally available for families.

At this stage, he tells SBS Portuguese he doesn't know if a child has been born as a result of his donations.

However, Rodrigo has been informed that he will receive an annual report from the clinic that will inform how many families he has assisted to help conceive.

The process to become a donor is lengthy, bureaucratic and quite challenging, He said.

"I filled in a questionnaire about my personality, physical appearance and tastes, which will be available for the families when they start their process to choose a donor.

"This form includes physical attributes like hair colour, eyes, height, interests, hobbies, skills, favourite food, my ambitions in life and questions such as 'What word describes your personality? What were you used to doing right after you left school? What makes you most proud in life? What is your childhood's most cherished memory?' ".

Making the choice to be an anonymous donor

Rodrigo said he decided to go through this process through an IVF clinic as he wasn't willing to donate specifically to one family or person he knows.

"I would not feel comfortable showing up at the person's place or vice-versa to collect the donation. Besides, I prefer to have legal backup supported by an institution that will take care of the entire process and will perform everything smoothly.

"Here in Australia, when a child is born through a donation, be it anonymous or not, they have the right to access the donor's info when they are 18. That's why it is important to keep your info updated in the sperm bank so the future teenager may contact you if they wish so."

When asked what would be his reaction in case someone contacted him after 18 years, he said he would be very positive about it.
One thing you should know is that you may never be contacted. It all depends on the family or the child. If such a thing happens, I think I'll be inclined to keep in touch. I'm very proud of where I came from and I'd be more than happy if all the people involved were interested in me or my Brazilian heritage
Rodrigo, sperm donor.

Your partner must sign an authorisation form so you can become a donor

Rodrigo says his friends and family are aware of his decision to donate, but his mother is uneasy and worried.

"She always dreamt of having grandchildren, but now, with the possibility of having grandchildren she may never meet - spread all over the country, she is struggling a bit.
I'm a gay man and I have a partner. When you sign your declaration of donation, your partner also needs to sign it, because this is a decision that needs to be taken together
Rodrigo, sperm donor.
He states the couple is planning to adopt a child in the future.

"I also am very fond of foster parenting, that is, when you take care of children for a certain amount of time when their biological parents are not able or allowed to do so."
Top view of male hand holding sperm cutout in blue background. Men's health, sperm donation and care concept.
As leis australianas em todo o país proíbem que o doador de sêmen receba um pagamento financeiro por isso. Source: iStockphoto / John Kevin/Getty Images/iStockphoto

A selfless action with no profit

Australian laws forbid the donor to receive any kind of financial compensation for their actions.
If you're going to do it, do it wholeheartedly, because you are getting nothing in exchange. Maybe this is the most selfless thing I have ever done. Do it knowing that the results of your donation are not under your control, because such a decision is very important and it will change and impact on many lives
Rodrigo, sperm donor
Online group has made possible 3,000 births via non-anonymous donations

Australian Adam Hooper, 37, is the creator of the private group on Facebook named Sperm Donation Australia.

The group has gathered more than 16,000 users over eight years.

Mr Hooper travels worldwide recruiting donors and promoting crucial info about the topic — his website sells artificial insemination kits for home use.

Mr Hooper himself is a donor and says he's helped more than 20 families with his sperm donations. His group claims to have helped more than 3,000 births happen through its donations.
197854124_3905160949611807_7891538005110617025_n.jpeg
Grupo no Facebook tem mais de 16 mil membros e conecta homens e mulheres que procuram ou oferecem doações de esperma.
I donated to a family I met online

Mr Branco - a health assistant from Brazil - lives in Brisbane, and says he had initially never imagined becoming a donor.

He has one child from his previous marriage.

He is now living with his male partner and both wish to have more kids through a surrogate mother who is able to donate her eggs and also to experience the whole pregnancy.

However, when he received a private message on Facebook from a lesbian couple, he decided that that was the moment to become a donor.
Smiling lesbian couple walking in city
Muitos casais da comunidade LGBTQ+ na Austrália têm optado por Surrogacy ou “Barriga de Aluguel”. Credit: Westend61/Getty Images/Westend61
"We first spoke online, then we met personally and talked things through. It was a smooth process, no expectations. We studied, researched all the legal stuff, we did medical exams and, in the end, we signed a contract between us.
It is not an easy process, be it physically or mentally. We've tried 8 times up to now, and she got pregnant in one of them. Eventually, she lost the baby in the early stages. We're not giving up and we'll try again soon.
Igor Branco, sperm donor

"I wouldn't donate anonymously because I want to know the child"

Mr Branco says that one of the criteria he has for other families is that they need to keep the process honest and transparent, have a stable financial stituation and loving conditions to raise the child "with lots of love and responsibility".

"I would also like to get to know the child, when they are ready to meet me, and be part of their life, kind of an uncle to them.

"I think they'll like to know about their biological roots, about my personality, who I am, where I come from, my tastes and maybe about my decision on becoming a donor who helped bring them to life".

A taboo: "there are many ways to raise a family"

Mr Branco also shares advice for those who are thinking of becoming sperm donors.

"I'd recommend preparing mentally so you can deal with your emotional limitations that may eventually appear. I feel sperm donation is still a taboo and it needs to be discussed and generalised.
"There are many ways to raise a family. They are not always formed by a biological father and a mother, but by two mothers, two fathers, single mums, or whoever is willing to raise a child with lots of love and responsibility"
Igor Branco, sperm donor

*Author: Felippe Canale
*Online producer: Jason Mathias.

e ouça . Escute a  ao vivo às quartas e domingos ao meio-dia ou na hora que quiser na 

Share