Last year, ahead of the outcome of the same-sex marriage survey, SBS Arabic 24 caught up with Sydney based couple Alissar and Barbara to hear how the debate affected their lives.
Alissar and Barbara describe the debate that surrounded 2017's same-sex marriage postal survey as humiliating and hurtful, but in addition to the general debate, the longtime partners of 25 years also face other challenges - such as being from not just different background but Arab and Jewish backgrounds.
Alissar Ghazal is a prominent figure in the Arabic community in Australia. She is a documentary producer, director and an openly gay woman in a community where religion can cause division on such issues.
Her partner Dr Barbara Block is a lecturer of philosophy at the University of Technology Sydney (UTS). A Jewish-German-Swiss Australian woman, Barbara established the 'Women in Black' group in the early 1990s in support of Palestinian rights during the first Intifada.
With a love that has lasted 25 years, the couple felt that now was the time for them to speak out about what it is like for them to "have the whole country judge you" via survey form.
"It is our right to get married if we want to and no one can tell us otherwise."
"After 25 years of being together we are no different to married couples," says Alissar.
"We won’t rush to get married once same-sex marriage is legalised because we don’t need a piece of paper to say you are permitted to be together.
"However, it is our right to get married if we want to and no one can tell us otherwise."
Presented with the religious argument, which was touted by many in the 'No' campaign, Alissar says that "since the beginning of time religious, political and social values have dictated our lives. But since the beginning of times sex has been a private thing, its simply personal."
She adds that "same-sex couples are not challenging religious freedoms and no one is asking the religious institutions to accept or participate in same sex weddings."
Alissar went further to argue that the concept of marriage and who can and can’t get married has also changed over time - especially in Australia.
"In the past they wouldn’t allow Aboriginal people to marry white Australians and people of different races couldn’t get married," says Alissar. "Tell that to someone now they won’t believe it."
"Now even people from different religions can get married. The world has changed."
"In the past they wouldn’t allow Aboriginal people to marry white Australians and people of different races couldn’t get married...the world has changed"
Some religious institutions involved in the 'No' campaign said that legalising same-sex marriage would have negative effects on children being raised by same-sex couples, arguing that children need a male and a female figure in their lives growing up.
In response to this, Alissar says, "in today's Australia you see kids being raised by same-sex parents, you see single parent families."
"The institution of family has also changed.
"Straight married couples have their children taken away from them sometimes - especially when there is cases of domestic violence.
"Love is what raises kids not the sex of the parents."
"Same sex couples are only asking to have the right to civil marriage."
Alissar and Barbara say that marriage today has evolved away from being purely a religious institution to also become a secular institution.
To them, marriage is a human right, says Alissar "and a lot of heterosexual couples today choose to get married but not in a church, a temple or a mosque."
"Same sex couples are only asking to have the right to civil marriage."
They also emphasise that no one is taking away the religious rights of believers. The Australian law protects religious freedoms and always will.
So why do they need to get married?
“We just want the right," says Barbara. "Marriage will provide safety and security when it comes to same sex couple’s partner’s rights at the end of their lives."
"It is simply an equality issue.
"We contribute to society the same way heterosexuals do.
"We are equal when it comes to taxes so why we are not equal when it comes to having that certificate that grants our partner’s full legal rights?"
When it comes to the issue of the ame-sex marriage postal survey, some prominent figures who identify as gay such as former Country Liberal Party leader Jodeen Carney announced that they wouldn't take part in the survey and or vote at all.
Alissar and Barbara both described the survey as a ridiculous and humiliating process that is unnecessary.
"We are equal when it comes to taxes so why we are not equal when it comes to having that certificate that grants our partner’s full legal rights?"
“The whole country is judging our private lives," says Barbara. "We elected parliamentarians to vote on such issues."
"However, it is good to know what people are saying about us."
Alissar then adds, "I don’t have the right to interfere in the private lives of others. Why do they have that right to judge me?"
"The government has chosen the cowardly way, which is to allow 22 million people to interfere, and judge same sex couples.
"This is hurtful."
Barbara sees another side to the survey. She believes that the survey has brought out the negative and the positive sides of the debate. However she says that the survey does not guarantee same sex couples equal rights even if it is overwhelmingly a 'yes' vote
"The genie is out of the bottle - it won’t go back in," says Barbara. "And it does make us feel like second-class citizens."
While both the Prime Minister Malcom Turnbull and the Opposition leader Bill Shorten have affirmed their support of same-sex marriage, for many, like Alissar and Barbara, this is not enough.
"Turnbull and Shorten both support same-sex marriage but it has become more about politics than human rights."
"They had many chances to change the law without having to put everyone is through this," says Alissar. "Turnbull is gutless and Gillard was silly saying she doesn’t believe in marriage altogether so she didn’t change the law."
"Turnbull and Shorten both support same-sex marriage but it has become more about politics than human rights."
The first same-sex marriages have now taken place in Australia, but back before the outcome of the postal survey was announced, Alissar and Barbara both said they hoped that it will be a majority 'yes' vote.
“If there is an overwhelming yes vote at least we will know that the state is behind us and that we do live in a secular society," says Barbara. "If it is overwhelming no there will be riots in the streets and it is hard to imagine a 'No' win but it could happen."
Talking about their journey coming out to their families and the hardships they have overcome was not an easy thing for Alissar and Barbara. Their final words were:
“As [Lebanese writer and poet] Gibran Khalil Gibran said, 'your children are not your children. Your children are the children of life,"' says Alissar.
"Love your kids no matter who they are and who they love. Support them and be there for them and vote yes so people who contribute to this society like us feel equal at last."
is the familiar story of multicultural Australians, as they are today - trying to embrace their Australian identity, whilst staying true to their culture, identity and family. It's a heart-warming update on how multiculturalism is working in Australia and a colourful account of the country that we are evolving into.
