"I don't go back to the Philippines often; but I did go back recently for a friend's wedding. I was a bridesmaid."
Bago naging bridesmaid si Rian Difuntorum, siya si Iyan - isang Melburnian na pinanganak sa Pangasinan na maraming kaibigan, na paborito ang papaitan ng kanyang lolo at luto ng kanyang nanay, at namuhay bilang isang lalaki ng mahigit sa dalawampung taon.
Iyan Difuntorum Source: Iyan Difuntorum Twitter
Mula fashion patungong drag
Bilang lalaki, aminado si Rian na, "I think going back I always knew there was something a little bit more unique about me; but I couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was."
Hindi man niya ito maalala, ang naaalala niya ay napamahal sa kanya ang fashion nung siya'y magpunta sa New York.
"Going to New York really opened my eyes to the possibility of having a creative career so that when I came back to Melbourne, I was so determined to get into fashion. I went from styling magazine photo shoots to then doing fashion campaigns, and then doing a bit of filming and styling for TV. I definitely did have a well-rounded stylist career."
At mula sa kanyang stylist career, nahanap niya ang karerang magdadala sa kanya sa pagdiskubre sa totoo niyang pagkatao.
"I went from styling magazine photo shoots to then doing fashion campaigns, and then doing a bit of filming and styling for TV." Source: Rian Difuntorum
Ayon kay Rian, naimbitahan siya ng isang kliyente mula sa TV sa isang queer venue para sa isang event. Dito niya nakilala ang nagpapatakbo ng event na siya namang nag-imbita sa kanyang lumahok sa isang charity fashion runway.
"I initially thought he wanted me to style, but what he actually meant was 'be a drag contestant in the runway. Every time I styled a photo shoot, I pictured how I would want to dress if I was dressing in those clothes. So I thought why not give it a shot? And so that's how my drag career started."
Mula sa isang performance bilang Aysha Buffet, lumaban siya sa 2016, kung saan niya napalunan ang Victorian at Australian titles.
"When i got into drag, it really brought joy to my life and I really loved being able to dress and be this fabulous queen that I always knew was inside me; but I had the safety of it being makeup and wigs. As I developed as a queen, I was able to kind of identify what this feeling internally was."
"I really loved being able to dress and be this fabulous queen that I always knew was inside me but I had the safety of it being makeup and wigs." Source: Charlie Hughes
Ang kanyang transition
Ang naramdaman ni Rian sa kanyang puso hindi siya isang gay man kagay ng akala niya noon. Ang totoo ay isa siyang transgender.
"I remember I pinpointed that moment [I realised this was] about 2016. I joked about it with a few of my friends. It became a running joke in our circle; but the more I thought about it, I knew it was the real thing. I kept going along with the jokes, so the idea of actually me being trans wouldn't be as much of a shock to them."
Hindi kagulat-gulat ang balitang ito sa kanyang mga kaibigan. Sa katotohanan, isang kaibigan ang nagsabi sa kanyang sumubok mag-transition sa Tasmania nang malaman niya na masyadong matagal ang paghihintay sa Melbourne.
"[In 2017], I was able to contact a clinic in Melbourne and they were able to give me a bit of information but when it came to sitting down with the doctor and psychologist, getting blood tests and [everything] to prepare my body for a medical transition, the wait list was so long and so I talked with a friend of mine who suggested to contact a clinic in Tasmania. I was able to make an appointment and, within a flash, I decided to move to Hobart to begin my transition."
Rian as a bridesmaid, with her close friends Source: Lovely Carbungco
Bago siya lumipat sa Tasmania, ginusto ni Rian na ipaalam sa kanyang mga kapatid ang mga pagbabago na mangyayari sa kanyang buhay.
"My brothers were really cool about it. They were really sweet and super protective, of course, and loved the idea of having a big sister."
Rian in Tasmania Source: Rian Difuntorum
Habang di siya nag-alanganang sabihin ang tungkol sa kanyang transition sa kanyang mga kapatid, hindi pa siyw handang sabihin ito sa kanyang mga magulang.
"I was really nervous to think that if I come out as trans, it might be that one bit that's too much for them. I've already moved to Tasmania this time. I had seen a psychologist and he gave me the courage to come out to my parents. I thought I would do the right thing for myself which is to write a letter to them, to explain how I felt and how it led up to that moment where I realised I was a transwoman."
Kahit kinailangan ng magulang niya ng panahon para maintindihan ang kanyang desisyon, nirespeto nila na ito ang pagkatao niya.
Rian with her family Source: Rian Difuntorum
"Obviously I wear my makeup and I'll wear a wig when we go out. We've normalised it. I can accept that I love them enough to give them the time that they need to get used to [the change]...It was a shock [for them] at first, but now my parents are cool with it. I'm quite lucky in that sense."
Maliban sa swerte niya sa kanyang pamilya, malaking pasalamat ni Rian na napagtanto niya ang kahalagahan ng bahagi sila ng buhay niya.
"I got used to the idea of not having my family's support. I went from loving my family to then putting them to the side so I can figure out what was important for me. Coming out as trans and with age...I've realised that they're not people that I want out of my life."
Isang babae sa drag
Habang patuloy na bahagi ng buhay niya ang kanyang pamilya, malaking parte pa rin ng kanyang pagkatao ang drag.
"I wasn't sure how the drag community would take to me identifying as transgender...but there are no biases in drag. The fight was more within myself. Over the last few years, there's been a big spotlight on bio-queens - [drag queens] who identify as women. They are a huge part of the drag scene in Melbourne [now] and are very much accepted and welcomed."
Ang pagtanggap na ito rin ang nakatulong sa kanyang alamin kung sino talaga si Aysha Buffet sa mundi ng drag.
Rian shares that the drag community has fully embraced her transition. Source: Rian Difuntorum
"Drag for me did begin as a mask and it was great because it gave me the strength to come out. So when I perform, I'm still Aysha Buffet - but it's Aysha Buffet developed as who I am as person now - as Rian. Because what's the point of being fake and putting on a face that isn't yours when you can take advantage of the time that you own?"
BASAHIN DIN
Rian Difuntorum: "Take advantage of the time that you own. Be true to yourself." Source: Rian Difuntorum
