The star of consistently brilliant comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) is the maverick detective who busts cases using methods that would definitely get him fired or killed in real life. Accordingly, Peralta deserves a well-earned Christmas break. Unfortunately, crime doesn’t stop for the holidays, leaving fictional police officers to join the rest of us who have to work over Christmas like suckers. For those stuck in the workplace over the holidays missing all the fun of petty family arguments and dumb hats, here’s what Detective Jake Peralta would do.
Regardless of what is happening, make a joke about it
Crime may not always be funny and it’s definitely annoying when it’s your house targeted by an arsonist, but Peralta’s sense of humour helps make the office a more tolerable place. In many cases, constant joking is a mask for severe emotional trauma, but as long as you and your workmates are laughing, the holiday work period will fly by, leaving any crippling mental torment to be a project for the New Year.
Peralta and Jeffords having a mildly psychotic-looking great time. Source: SBS VICELAND
Turn work into a game
With the right perspective, even the dullest task can become a fun activity. Peralta and the Brooklyn Nine-Nine crew have regular competitions to see who can solve the most cases, while the annual ‘Ultimate Detective/Genius’ challenge turns practical detective training into an enjoyable event.
In an ordinary office, a simple game of ‘Who can throw rubbish into the bin from the furthest?’, or ‘Who can answer the most customer complaints without resorting to violent screaming?’ is sure to liven things up.
Source: SBS VICELAND
Wear some cool clothes
An employee who looks good is an employee who feels good. As such, a person’s clothing can have a profound effect on their attitude at work over the holidays. In the event an overbearing boss tells you to stop wearing non-issue work attire, claiming your badge, jacket or clock is a representation of your religious beliefs is an effective approach at this time of year.
If you don’t get to wear a badge at work, consider a clock a la Flava Flav. Source: Supplied
Start a relationship with a co-worker
Workplace romances are fraught with danger, particularly those initiated over the office Christmas party season. That being said, it has worked out pretty well for the fictional relationship of Peralta and Santiago, proving it is a great idea in real life! There is a small chance things will end poorly but when the only downside is spending every future moment at work in a living nightmare, you might as well take the risk.
Peralta and Santiago in a happy moment before things inevitably turn to garbage. Source: SBS VICELAND
Be the best darn employee you can be!
For all his hijinks, Peralta is an officer who gets results, taking pride in his work and doing his best to keep the streets safe.
If you find yourself employed over Christmas, remember that your contribution to society is appreciated, using this as motivation to work hard and try your best. And if that doesn’t work, maybe you can swipe some free staplers or something for added incentive.
Peralta nabs another scumbag for wearing a grey hoodie and having a 90s haircut. Source: SBS VICELAND
Quietly seethe
For all his jokes and bluster, Peralta has a sad core stemming from abandonment issues and the murky relationship with his boss he secretly views as a surrogate father figure. In his case, Peralta uses these issues as unhealthy motivation to be the best detective possible, but a popular alternative is to quietly stew, getting angrier and angrier as you think about all the times you have been wronged. How could someone make you work over Christmas!? How could they have the temerity to employ you at all!? It’s a freaking outrage! In other words, do your work, but be a surly jerk about it.
Peralta embracing the true spirit of the season: rage. Source: SBS VICELAND
Watch an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine
At this time of year there is a good chance nobody is paying attention to what you’re doing at work, so taking a short break to watch an episode of one of television’s greatest comedies is likely to go unpunished. The best news is you can watch new episodes on SBS VICELAND and anytime at ! It’s a Christmas miracle! Or just a happy coincidence if you don’t believe in that kind of thing. Either way, Detective Jake Peralta would approve if he wasn’t so busy being a pretend policeman in a fictional, but excellent, TV show.
These unbiased sources agree, watching 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' is a good idea. Source: SBS VICELAND
A gift to us all
Regardless of your background or beliefs, the convenience of watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine on SBS On Demand is a gift to us all. So if you are fortunate enough to have time off over the holidays, be sure to take advantage and watch new episodes of one of the best shows on television! Alternatively, if you’re stuck in the office and feeling glum, remember how often Christmas descends into an argumentative stress-fuelled crap-fight and cheer up.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine - fast tracked every week. Starts 11 January on SBS VICELAND and SBS On Demand.
Only the best TV detectives wear top hats. Source: SBS VICELAND
