A woman in New York has opened up about her experience being married to a gay man, telling popular photo-journal website that she's "not ready to stop sharing" the life she's built with the father of her children.
“I took him to see Brokeback Mountain when it came out," the woman, who has remained anonymous, told Humans of New York, which was started by photographer Brandon Stanton in 2010.
She continued: "I thought I was challenging him with the choice. But at the end of the film, he turned to me and said: ‘That’s me.'"
"We’d been married for thirty years. Our kids were still young. I didn’t know what to do. Do I leave? Do I stay? We were ex-pats in another country at the time, so we were all alone. I had nobody to talk to," she said.
"We went to a therapist to see if it was possible to stay together, and she told us: ‘I’ve seen it work. But only if one person is very discrete and the other is very tolerant.’ So I agreed to try. It’s been ten years. It’s been exhausting in a lot of ways.
"I asked too many questions at first. I made myself miserable. Now I give him a lot of space. And I get a lot of space in return. I’ve been traveling alone for about two months now. I know what’s going on back home but I don’t ask about it"
The woman admitted that her friends have encouraged her to move on with her life, but to no avail.
"Maybe I’m just too afraid to be alone at this age," she said.
"But I still feel like he’s my soul mate. We have the same view of the world. We both love children. We love traveling and good food. He really is a good man. He’s just gay. And we’ve had such a good life together, I’m just not ready to stop sharing it.”
Readers were quick to offer the woman their advice.
"Start your life over and have your soulmate be your best friend," one wrote. "He doesn't have to leave your life. You don't sound happy this way."
Another wrote: "You must do what feels right for you. Just don't forget yourself and your own happiness in the process. May you find peace."
