‘I knew that I loved my son, and nothing would ever stop me from loving my son. But I had some thinking and some praying to do. Lots,’ Vanessa wrote in a self-penned blog.
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A Christian mother from Melbourne has written about the experience of watching her gay son, Lachlan, get married, sharing the personal journey she went on before landing at a place of love and acceptance.
"Lachlan and I have always been very close," Vanessa Hall, an author and public speaker, . "Particularly as my first husband, Lachlan’s father, Matthew, died when Lachlan was only almost 8 months old."
A professional dancer and choreographer, Lachlan had been dating a woman for several years at the time he came out to Hall.
"We were having dinner in Melbourne and he said to me ‘Mum, it’s inevitable'," she wrote.
"He had dated a girl for three years, but had struggled with the fear that if he went down the track of trying to be what he felt was expected of him, and purely to please others, marrying a girl and having children, that one day he would end up hurting people.""It was when he said to me that it was not what he would choose for himself, and that if he could flick a switch and turn it off, he would, that I realised this was no choice," she continued. "I knew that from watching him all his life, but this was another confirmation. He had read every book, researched where this had possibly come from, and had been wrestling with it for years.
"I knew that I loved my son, and nothing would ever stop me from loving my son." Source: Vanessa Hall
"We cried together than night, sitting in the restaurant, hugging each other. I knew then that I loved my son, and nothing would ever stop me from loving my son. But I had some thinking and some praying to do. Lots."
When the same-sex marriage laws changed in Australia, and Lachlan announced his engagement to his partner, Paul, Hall "came to a crossroads".
After Australia permitted same-sex marriages, Lachlan and his partner, also a dancer, got engaged. And while it was a lot for his mum to deal with, Vanessa not only walked Lachlan down the aisle, she also wore a rainbow sash – the universal LGBTQ+ symbol.
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"Late one afternoon I got down on my knees and prayed like I had never prayed before. I was sobbing, and I said to God ‘You know I love you, and you know I love my son. What I don’t understand is why you are asking me to choose between the two of you.
"But if this is an Abraham and Isaac moment, and I need to sacrifice my son in order to stay true to my faith, as much as it would grieve me, and as much as I don’t understand it, you know I would, but please, please tell me that is not what you want from me.’ In that moment an almost audible voice spoke these words to me: ‘I gave up my son so that you don’t have to.’"
Hall went on to happily walk Lachlan down the aisle in April of this year, tying a rainbow sash to her outfit at the end of her reception speech in a small gesture of love to her son.
"I had bought the sash specifically for the wedding and wasn’t sure if I’d use it," Hall explained to UK website .
"Lachlan had always joked that he hoped I’d be waving the gay pride flag one day. It’s such a sensitive issue and I’m very intentional in what I do, so I needed to be sure my message was consistent and well thought through."
She added: "When I put on the sash, it was both a sign of the promises of God and the acknowledgement of gay people being loved and accepted."
‘I knew that I loved my son, and nothing would ever stop me from loving my son. But I had some thinking and some praying to do. Lots,’ Vanessa wrote in a self-penned blog.
Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2019/07/10/religious-mum-marries-gay-son-and-his-partner-while-wearing-a-rainbow-sash-10146063/?ito=cbshare
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/