When a couple gets married, the wedding gifts they would typically expect to receive on their big day include money, furniture or if guests wanted to be really generous, an all-expenses paid holiday for the couple to go on for their honeymoon.
But for some reason, us Cook Islanders missed the memo and came up with this absurd idea to gift blankets to the wedded couple instead.
If you’ve never been to the Cook Islands, the climate is tropical thus rendering the blanket useless because it’s too darn hot. And when it does get chilly, a sheet or a pareu (the Cook Islands Maori word for sarong) will usually suffice.
I don’t know the origins or the significance of the gifting of blankets, formally known as the o’ora, but for as long as I can remember the wedded couple have always received an array of blankets as gifts from their families. And I’m not talking about a few blankets here; sometimes couples can receive more than 50 to 100 blankets on their wedding day.
When my husband and I got married in 2013, we too were gifted blankets, however our portion was modest, mainly because my husband is Tongan.
When my husband and I got married in 2013, we too were gifted blankets, however our portion was modest, mainly because my husband is Tongan.
You see, when both the bride and the groom are of Cook Islander descent, they are more likely to be gifted an exorbitant number of blankets as both sides of the family will participate in a low-key blanket war where they will compete to see who can gift the most blankets.
Before the wedding day, both families of the bride and the groom will assign each family member to buy blankets.
Now the blankets aren’t purchased from Sheridan or Bed Bath N’ Table. Instead they’re purchased from Cabramatta, because they’re much cheaper. Remember: the objective is to gift the most blankets so the more blankets one can buy with their money, the better. Some relatives will even re-gift the blankets they received when they got married.
In addition to the blankets, the couple will also be gifted with the tivaevae which is a traditional Cook Islands handmade quilt. The tivaevae is made with brightly coloured fabric and adorned with patterns of flowers and geometric motifs as homage to the unspoiled paradise of the Cook Islands.
The tivaevae is a prized possession in the Cook Islands as it is hand sewn by a group of mamas, or elderly women, and can often take several weeks or months to complete depending on the intricacies of the patterns.
The o’ora usually occurs during the speeches at the wedding reception. A representative from each side of the family will be appointed to give a speech prior to the gifting of the blankets.
While the family representative is giving their speech, the women of the family will congregate and prepare for the presentation by taking the blankets out of its packaging.
While the family representative is giving their speech, the women of the family will congregate and prepare for the presentation by taking the blankets out of its packaging.
At the conclusion of the speech, the representative will request for the band to play an upbeat Cook Islands song. As soon as the music plays, the women will each take turns bringing out the blankets while swinging their hips to the beat of the music.
The blankets are then placed at the feet of the wedding couple and are layered on top of each other. I’ve seen blankets that have been piled so high that you can longer see the bride and the groom.
Obviously, nobody wins at the end of what can sometimes seem like an over-the-top and outrageous gifting of blankets from both families because, once the wedding reception is over, both families have to stay back to help fold and re-package each blanket while the newly wedded couple figures out what on earth they’re going to do with their excess stock of blankets.
My husband and I ended up storing all of our blankets in our garage while the tivaevae is stored at my parents’ house in their glory box, a large chest, which contains some of our special family mementos where it will eventually be passed on to our children when they get married.
There wasn’t a particular blanket that was meaningful to us or that we favoured the most. We loved each of them in their different shapes, colours and sizes, like our family, all the same. Because at the end of the day, the o’ora is never about who can gift the best or the most blankets, instead, it’s about what money can’t buy: love.
Danielle Mahe is a Sydney midwife and freelance writer.
