Recently, my mother told me that I shouldn’t attend concerts anymore because she’s gotten phone calls and curious questions from distant relatives back in Bangladesh who lurk on my Facebook profile.
They spotted pictures of me at Harry Styles’ show and a saw a selfie I snapped with Niall Horan.
“We saw those new pictures Naureen posted. She was out at some show at night and even took a selfie with a guy. Is that her boyfriend?” they asked.
My mother and I laughed at the fact that they assumed a member of One Direction is my boyfriend but she was still concerned.
My mother personally doesn’t have an issue with what I do, but she also doesn’t want people talking about me, so obviously her maternal instincts kicked in and she wants to protect me.
Music and concerts are my biggest passions. I love attending concerts, and singing and dancing with my friends while having the time of our lives.
Like Taylor Swift’s new music video for her latest single, “Delicate,” - I’d like to be invisible sometimes.
It’s a big part of my life. But what do I do if my reputation is at stake because of it? Do I stop? In the end, I’ve decided to not post my pictures on Facebook and share my joy. I’m keeping it to myself and those who support who I am.
Like Taylor Swift’s new music video for her latest single, “Delicate,” - I’d like to be invisible sometimes.
Taylor embraces it, fooling around and dancing to her heart’s desire all over a hotel and outside in the rain.
Taylor’s female fans deeply resonate with this music video, expressing how they sometimes wish that they were invisible, too, away from judgement and scrutiny.
Many girls, especially desi girls, face issues of being told how they should look, dress, behave, and live.
Brown girls brought up in a traditional communities have a whole set of standards that they deal with.
From behaving conservatively to dressing modestly, they’re told that they have to uphold their reputation so that no one talks bad about them, especially future in-laws and husbands.
I’ve been on the heavy side since I was six years old. As I grew into my teen years, I was told by the elder females in my family to lose weight, otherwise, no man will want to marry me.
Men aren’t taunted like that. They’ll have a girl regardless of how much they weigh or what they look like.
It’s also fine for men to have hair on their faces, but my natural upper lip and chin hairs have to be waxed every week so I can appear well-groomed.
I’ve also been warned to stay away from boys and relationships.
Many girls, especially desi girls, face issues of being told how they should look, dress, behave, and live. (Image: Supplied) Source: Supplied
“They’re a distraction and they will break your heart,” my mother would say.
But my guy cousins date and all the elders in the family are fine with it. It’s okay if they choose who they want to marry, but it’s definitely not okay if the girls do it. The consequences for them just weren’t the same.
Growing up with these double standards has made me insecure since a young age when I should have been developing confidence.
The stress of looking good and behaving in a way that adults will approve of causes anxiety that isn’t easy to “shake off” (another Taylor classic).
With her quirky music video, she encourages her young female fans to embrace who they really are without fear and inhibitions.
It has stayed with me till this day into my adult life.
Taylor’s reputation is all about reclaiming the right to have your reputation ‘trashed’ and scrutiny from prying and judgemental eyes.
With her quirky music video, she encourages her young female fans to embrace who they really are without fear and inhibitions.
Girls shouldn’t have to feel like they have to be invisible to truly be who they want to be or do what makes them happy.
Naureen Nashid is a 25-year-old freelance writer. She has an affinity for pop culture, boy bands, and writing about her feelings. You can find her on and .
