There is both nothing and everything normal about Andie Thorpe.
The 22-year-old is a doctoral candidate at the University of Technology Sydney, surfing, playing soccer and having dinner with friends in her downtime. She has also been a registered carer since the age of 10, responsible for her mother’s welfare and helping her to manage the pain and constant fluctuations of her rheumatoid arthritis and diabetes at their home in Manly, NSW.
Thrown into the role when her father left the family, Andie’s childhood moved from “child-friendly” to a new reality: Nippers training had to sit alongside 5:30am starts to administer medicine and cook for and dress her mother and brother, 13 months younger than her, and sister, four years her junior. Andie helped her mother to walk and get to her numerous medical appointments - and had no idea that her life looked a little different to that of her friends.
“For me it didn’t look too different to a normal kid, it just looked like a whole lot of responsibility that, at the age of 10, I didn't realise every other family wasn’t going through,” Andie tells SBS Voices.
A lot has changed since then, not least the progression of her mother’s degenerative auto-immune disease and the toll it takes on her physical and mental health.
Andie Thorpe, 22, is her mother's carer. They live together, with Andie's younger siblings, at the family home in Manly, NSW. Source: SBS
“When you look at my mum you would not think that she has a disability. She can walk, she’s very articulate, she’s very active, very vibrant, but when you take a closer look, there are parts of her body that don’t work,” she says. Her mother’s leg is fused to her ankle bone, walking is very difficult and her fingers have limited movement. “She likes to say she’s as stiff as a Barbie doll,” laughs Andie.
There are times when it might be simpler to manage the illness, she imagines, if her mother had a wheelchair or other visible symbol of disability. Rheumatoid arthritis is largely invisible, with no outward signs of fatigue or excruciating pain, and Andie is all-too aware of the emotional impacts the hidden elements of the disease have on her mother.
The siblings share their mother’s care, each focusing on elements that work to their skills and schedules. Fitting her caring duties around her PhD in molecular biology, Andie is her mother’s logistics and medication advocate, unpicking the complexities of pain management and medical services. Her brother is the heavy lifter - literally moving his mother and furniture around - and her sister looks after their mother’s personal care.
“It’s a journey we all go on. It’s not just the person with disability, it’s the people around them, the support network, the carers around them, who also journey with them,” says Andie.
Andie Thorpe shares her caring duties with her siblings. That includes administering her mother's medicine and injections. Source: SBS
Naturally, they call themselves Team Thorpe. They work together, live together, go to church together and play together. A trip to the beach is a logistical feat that makes them feel like any other family and is a joy they don’t take for granted.
Andie’s close-knit church community and the unwavering support of her family GP are extremely helpful and beneficial to her wellbeing. But while her siblings are also invaluable - “I wouldn’t be anywhere without them,” she says - the job of caring can be lonely and isolating. Despite being one of , she grew up with no carers in her peer group, and has only met other young carers since starting university.
“Caring has a lot of joys but it also has a lot of lows. For me, I still feel very lonely sometimes,” she says. has opened access to other carers and a network of professionals who recognise the vast range of skills, from occupational health to cooking, that caring entails.
“They understand what caring looks like. You do need support, to speak to someone professional about it,” she says. “It really helps to combat the loneliness.”
In 2014, Andie was named NSW Young Carer of the Year, an honour that shone a spotlight on her around-the-clock responsibilities. Yet, despite 12 years in the role, the title ‘carer’ doesn’t come easily to her. She sees herself as a daughter and sister first and foremost, supporting her family in the best way she knows.
Andie Thorpe (centre) says she "wouldn't be anywhere without" the support of her siblings. Source: SBS
“I don’t normally associate myself with the word carer, but I guess that it is what I am. I fit into a normal family dynamic and I would want to care for my mum through anything,” she says. “It’s also a special role - I get to care for my mum and additionally for my siblings.”
With the future comes the certainty that her mother’s body will continue to deteriorate, a “scary” truth that sits beside another immovable fact: that of her siblings’ unstinting solidarity. Team Thorpe isn’t going anywhere soon. And, while friends of Andie’s are moving overseas or getting married, she’s focusing on the present.
“I just got enrolled in my dream university program,” she says, counting her blessings, “and I get to be close to my family.”
If you look after a loved one, Carer Gateway is a free support service, especially for you. Call Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737 or go to to find out what we can do for you. Authorised by the Australian Government, Canberra.
