My children dropped their naps early. Around the age of two they decided they were over it. If I really persisted, they could be coerced into having a nap, but it would sometimes take me over an hour to get them to sleep, and I decided the stress of trying to do so was not worth it, which is when I instigated quiet time.
I have three kids and each child was different when it came to quiet time. With my first, it was pretty easy, she was happy to play in her room with her toys. With my second, the only quiet time he was happy to have was with a screen in hand. And with my third, well by then, they were being run around to so many different locations, there was no time for any of us to have so-called quiet time.
I needed that moment in the day when I wasn't submitting to my children's endless demands.
I needed it, however. I needed that moment in the day when I wasn't submitting to my children's endless demands, especially when they were so young and needed me so much. I just wanted to shelter in the sound of silence, often with something warm and caffeinated cupped between my palms, and rest my mind for a bit.
Now, the days of quiet time are a thing of the past. My children are all at school and our lives are hectic. I juggle parenting with work, and the thought of having a moment of quiet during the day seems alien to me. It's funny how the body adjusts to the constant rush of life. As much as I thought I'd have plenty of quiet times when my children were no longer at home between the hours of 9–3, it didn't turn out to be the case. Other things took over, projects, activities – life, it seems, crowds into any space it finds empty.
It's only when I stopped that I noticed the silence.
Especially recently, our lives have been particularly hectic with house moves and big overseas trips that were so wonderful but also so busy. And then one day in the middle of it all, surrounded by moving boxes, I stopped. The house was empty. It was only me making all the noise, rushing around as I was packing up the 10 years' worth of stuff we had accumulated in our home. But it's only when I stopped that I noticed the silence. I got up and made myself a cup of tea and sat down, letting the quiet seep into me. It was then I realised how important it is for adults to have their own quiet time.
While we all know the benefits for children to have rest and a break in the day – if not through a nap then just some quiet playing – many don't realise how important it is for adults to have the same. Science backs this up and it seems the busier you are, the quiet time. The are many and include calming down our nervous system to allowing our brain to develop more brain cells.
In fact if you were going to get all scientific about it, more than just quiet time, prolonged periods of doing nothing that we often blame for causing boredom can actually be good for us. to make us more creative and can even lead people to find deeper meaning and satisfaction.
But for me it's about more than that. Those 10 minutes I took for myself in the midst of packing helped me settle my mind. It allowed me to calm my own nerves and not be overwhelmed by the task ahead of me. What it ultimately did, was help me take stock, and that perhaps was worth those moments of silence alone.
We are so caught up in the whirlwind of life that often we find time passes us by without us noticing it. But if packing up my children's childhoods into cardboard boxes has shown me anything, it is how important it is to notice all those moments that seem to fly by in an instant.
My kids no longer need quiet time, but I do in order to sit in the moment of our lives as they are now. And even if those moments are hectic, they are precious – if nothing else, I'm glad quiet time allowed me to see that.
Saman Shad is a freelance writer.
