We’ve all seen the pictures by now – two long time tennis competitors, champions really – holding hands as they both wept because one of them had just played his last match. The two men in question, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are known the world over, not just for being amazing tennis players but also for the long held rivalry between them.
But as the pictures proved, the competitiveness was only for the court, off the court the emotions overwhelming the two men showed they were much more than just rivals, they were akin to brothers.
It’s not a sight we see too often. Men openly crying in public, letting their emotions overcome them to a point they are no longer afraid to hide their true feelings. And while much of the focus was on Federer, widely considered the GOAT in the tennis world (after perhaps) there’s a lot to be said for how Nadal cried alongside him. His were tears of empathy, loss, and genuine sadness for the moment.
Federer went on to explain what was happening in those pictures : “Rafa told me, 'I will try everything I possibly can to be there with you.' And that felt obviously incredible for me. And it showed again how much we mean to one another and how much respect we have. And I just thought it would be just a beautiful, amazing story for us, for sports, for tennis, and maybe beyond that as well, where we can coexist in a tough rivalry and come out on top and show that, hey, again it’s just tennis.”
The moment was not lost on other sportsmen, such as cricketer and former captain of the Indian cricket team Virat Kohli who posted a picture of the two tennis players on his Instagram, with the caption: “Who thought rivals can feel like this towards each other. That’s the beauty of sport. This is the most beautiful sporting picture ever for me. When your companions cry for you, you know what you’ve been able to do with your god given talent.”
Meanwhile basketball great LeBron James posted a photo of the two men on his , while saying “So AMAZING man!!”
For many others, off the sporting field, the sight of two grown men openly crying in a very public arena showed the erosion of toxic masculinity. The images hopefully relay to young fans that it was OK to share a joyous yet sad tear-filled moment with your friends. If greats like Federer and Nadal could cry while holding hands, it's OK for everyone to.
After all the ‘boys don’t cry’ narrative is so deeply entrenched that even in this day for men to weep is somehow considered emasculating.
In its own way, Federer and Nadal’s moment hopefully helped put a dent in that narrative. However it did bring up the question, was the sporting arena the only place where it was socially acceptable for men to show their true raw selves, tears and all?
that men crying during sporting events is seen as perhaps the most publicly acceptable place for men to display such emotion. It has been this way since at least the Iliad when Greek warriors cried after losing chariot races. In fact many consider sporting arenas as perhaps the only safe public space for men to cry.
But the photo of the two tennis greats crying together took this moment away from the sporting arena, and through social media, took on a life of its own.
As Federer went on to explain to The New York Times – “I think at one point, I was sobbing so hard, and I don’t know, everything was going through my mind about how happy I am to actually experience this moment right there with everybody.
“I guess at one point, just because obviously I couldn’t speak and the music was there, I guess I just touched him, and I guess it’s maybe a secret thank you.”
For Federer’s many fans, and even those who don’t follow tennis, the gesture was a deeply touching one and a reminder that it's OK for men no matter how public a situation, to let their guard drop and to let those emotions flow, whether they are at a sporting event or not.
Saman Shad is a freelance writer.
