When you become a parent, nobody tells you about the unspoken pressure that arises from simply throwing your kid a birthday party. I’ve certainly fallen victim to it.
My son’s first birthday involved having my mum painstakingly gluing teeny-tiny party hats onto various plastic animals because I’d seen it on Pinterest and thought they’d make cute decorations (Mum probably didn’t after working on the 20th animal).
When my youngest turned one, I had planned an elaborate set-up in our backyard complete with ball pits and tents. It bucketed down on the day and I had to bin that idea and cram 40 people into our house.
More recently, my eldest turned five and, in keeping with his dinosaur obsession, we set up a giant inflatable brachiosaur in the backyard that my husband and I had to spend half our time keeping upright as it kept wilting in the heat.
Looking back, all this has me questioning the time and effort, not to mention the cost associated with hosting such a party, and longing for the old-school birthdays of my youth. An cake. Party bags with sugar. Pin the tail on the donkey. Those ’80s and ’90s birthdays were simple yet glorious, and it’s time to bring them back.
These days, kid’s parties can be as elaborate as they are expensive. Balloon installations. Pony rides. A dessert grazing table
These days, kid’s parties can be as elaborate as they are expensive. Balloon installations. Pony rides. A dessert grazing table. You can go as extravagant as you like, and there’s no shortage of parents out there willing to do it. You only need to look to celebs who drop six figures on a birthday party for a two-year-old to know that we have reached peak insanity when it comes to celebrating our offspring.
In trying to create such Insta-worthy moments, are we forgetting what the celebration is actually about? When I think about the birthday parties I attended as a child, I don’t remember them looking like a Pinterest board. I do remember having an absolute ball with my friends. Admittedly, we were powered by pure refined sugar, and had probably played a game of pass the parcel where we’d suffered the heartbreak of going through the entire game without getting a prize, but it was still unadulterated fun.
We laughed, feasted on party pies and sausage rolls (from a box, not the artisanal bakery kind), ooohed excitedly as someone’s mum brought out a lovingly homemade cake with slightly dodgy icing, got hugely competitive over a few party games before being sent on our merry way with a party bag full of lollies. They’re still some of my fondest memories.
For some, birthday parties can become a game of “Who did it best?” Sometimes throwing an over-the-top birthday party is more about the parents wanting to prove themselves to others than about the child.
Most of the time, they won’t really care if there’s a Paw Patrol balloon installation at the front door
Most children are content with a simple formula when it comes to parties: having their family and friends present, a smattering (okay, a lot) of junk food, their very own birthday cake and the chance to have their special day honoured and celebrated. Most of the time, they won’t really care if there’s a Paw Patrol balloon installation at the front door, if there are personalised party hats or a giant inflatable dinosaur in the backyard – it’s simply about feeling special.
And therein lies the appeal of old-school birthday parties: they were simple, unfussy and centred around the kids rather than parents feeling the pressure to throw the Met Gala equivalent of a six-year-old’s birthday party.
I quickly learnt this when I asked my five-year-old what his favourite part of his last birthday party was. It wasn’t the dinosaur decorations I’d set up, the dino-themed food or the Steve Irwin-esque guy we hired to entertain the kids with snakes and a crocodile – it was simply the fact he got to hang out with his cousins that day. That was it.
It had me rethinking the time, stress and effort required to throw him the “perfect” party, when in reality he had already discovered the most magical part of any celebration: getting to hang out with his favourite people.
So, if we’re already embracing a bunch of trends from the ’80s and ’90s, then may I suggest we embrace old-school birthday parties too? They may not set Pinterest on fire, but they’ll still ensure a good time. And isn’t that the most important part of any party?
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