I get asked which way I'll be voting.
I've watched others speak over my people.
I've seen the racist tweets and posts, and held my breath as discussions get more toxic.
I hear the nasty conversations and go to bed feeling anxious.
The referendum on the Voice to Parliament has brought with it a lot of emotions - some good, some bad, some eh.
To put it mildly, it's been an overwhelming time for mob.
In a time full of uncertainty - one thing is for sure: whether the outcome of the referendum is a yes or a no, we need to be there for one another and, most importantly, be there for ourselves.
I spoke to three First Nations people working in the mental health space who shed light on how we can look after ourselves with the upcoming referendum.
How the referendum is impacting mob
Tanja Hirvonen is a Jaru Bunuba clinical psychologist and Board Director of the Australian Indigenous Psychologists Association.
Ms Hirvonen says that the Voice has fuelled bigoted attitudes and behaviours.
"The social and emotional well-being of mob across the country has been impacted in a negative way, particularly with the increased incidences of racism."
Dr Clinton Schultz, a Gamilaroi psychologist and director at the Black Dog Institute, agrees, adding that Indigenous peoples have been placed under a microscope.
"A lot of mob are reporting that they're finding that constant attention, as well as the criticism and debate, becoming quite toxic and impacting heavily on their social and emotional well-being," he told NITV.
He also explains how taxing it can become when Voice discussions are brought in to our workplaces and social environments.
"People are feeling a whole bunch of extra pressure, particularly in their workplaces to be the experts on the Voice and referendum process.
"There's the expectation that mob should be disclosing what side they're supporting ... it's just that overwhelming experience that people are having from being pressured into a discussion.
"The psychological distress that we're seeing amongst mob at the moment is definitely raised," Dr Schultz said.
Maddison O'Gradey-Lee is a provisional psychologist and is currently completing a PhD at the Black Dog Institute which explores young mob's mental health.
As a young Aboriginal woman, Maddison has been impacted by the racism she's seen online that has been sparked by the referendum.
"Seeing this . A lot of horrible comments made by non-Aboriginal people about Aboriginal people.
"It's been the commentary we're seeing happening across the country that's really having that negative impact on people's mental health and on people's identity," she told NITV.
Maddison also identifies how uncertainty around the referendum can impact mental health.
"Knowing that this really big decision is coming up, and not knowing what is going to happen has been really difficult for many people," she said.
How mob can look after themselves during the referendum
Tanja Hirvonen says to do what mob do best: check in on each other as well as your Elders.
"Draw on the strength of your ancestors and draw on the strength of your mob and make sure to look after yourself.
"Touch base with your family and have those conversations with your trusted peers or family members.
"Make sure that you're connecting with people that are like-minded, who are going to give you that care and compassion and that warm hug that you might need," Ms Hirvonen told NITV.
Whether you're voting yes, no or you still haven't decided, Tanja says that mental health should be a priority.
"There's the yes camp, there's no camp, there's the undecided camp, but I'm in the well-being camp. We want to ensure that people are looking after themselves and having these conversations wherever you land," she said.
Similarly, Dr Clinton Schultz says that regardless of the referendum outcome, mob will need to remember that we all want the best for our people and many of us are fighting the same injustices.
"We have to care for each other. We have to be kind to each other. Whatever happens the day after the referendum, whatever the outcome is, as mob we'll have to be able to walk forward together.
"We're still family, we're still community, so we'll still need to be able to support each other," he told NITV.
Dr Schultz also stresses the importance of self-care and asserts that looking after yourself isn't selfish.
"We can only be 100 per cent for our families, our communities, or whatever else it may be, when we actually take that time to look after ourselves and to recharge ourselves," he told NITV.
Maddison believes that it begins with acknowledging that the upcoming vote is a momentous time.
"For many young mob, this is the first referendum they've ever participated in.
"Acknowledge that this is a really big piece of history, and it is going to have a really big impact on their lives."
Like Tanja and Clinton, Maddison recognises the power of connecting with culture during difficult times.
"I think what's really important for mob is that connection with family, with friends, with community. Keeping that up is going to be really crucial in the months leading up to the referendum.
"For mob, one of our biggest strengths is our ability to connect with people, to connect with culture.
"Make sure that there's an effort to do that and continuing to connect and nurture those relationships so that you're able to fill your own cup back up," she said.
Looking after ourselves online
Some experts believe online racism will only increase as we get closer to the referendum.
We have already been experiencing it and seeing it on social media, news outlets, political commentary, and everyday conversations.
Ms Hirvonen says it's near-impossible not to come across negative and racist conversations around the referendum online.
"We've seen trolling on social media and a lot of people having very strong opinions.
"It's a topic that, on any type of platform, will be talked about in some way," she said.
Maddison suggests staying away from news sites, articles or people in the community who you know will have racist comments about the referendum.
"Try to stay away from that media backlash because unfortunately, there are some really negative comments being made and I don't think that it's useful for anybody to be reading or engaging with that," she said.
"We can't underestimate what an explosion of online hate this could result in if we don't try and get ahead of it," eSaftey Commissioner Julie Inman Grant told NITV News in March.
Ms Grant said the eSaftey Commission will look to the Online Safety Act to take down serious cyber abuse.
"We plan to work with the referendum group and committee around social media self defence training to make sure that they've got the skills and the tools and the strategies they need to be able to lift their voices.
"We also want the companies to be on notice we want them to think about the key words that might be used to silence voices or [promote] myths and disinformation," she said.
Support services and online safety resources available to mob
There are a number of resources available to mob who may be struggling with their mental health or who are experiencing racism.
eSafety Commission: A suite of resources for First Nations digital wellbeing, including , and , are available via the Office of the eSafety Commissioner.
13YARN: For culturally safe First Nations crisis support, you can give a call on 13 92 76. They offer a free, confidential one-on-one yarning opportunity with an Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Wellmob: Online social, emotional and cultural resources, developed by and for First Nations people, are available through Wellmob. This includes websites, apps, podcasts, videos, social media, and online counselling with a focus on social and emotional wellbeing. .
AIMhi-Y: A mobile app to support the wellbeing of First Nations young people, aged 12-25, called . The app is a strengths-based, digital wellbeing tool that integrates education and brief intervention, embedding guidance from Elders, and building connection with culture, Country and language. The AIMhi-Y app is available for download on mobile devices via the App Store (Apple) or Google Play (Android).
Call It Out is a secure, online register to report racism and discrimination experienced by First Nations people. Its purpose is to collect information on racism, including how it is experienced, how often it is occurring and the impact it is having on people. This data is hoped to progressively impact public policy into the future. .
