Amy (not her real name) was eating alone at a popular ramen spot in Sydney when a man wearing glasses sat beside her, taking one of the last seats left in the tiny restaurant.
When he struck up a conversation, Amy felt wary but said he just seemed like "a really friendly stranger".
"I just want to eat my ramen," Amy recalled thinking at the time.
"I was just trying to be polite to him the whole time in case he was a dangerous person."
They talked about work. He told her he taught an English class.
After Kim left, Amy tried to shake off her gut feeling that something was wrong.
Three months later, her brother's friends stumbled across an online video which she said had been viewed around five million times — and immediately recognised Amy's face.
A private person, Amy was horrified to realise she'd been filmed without consent.
The man she was speaking to was Minje Kim, a self-described personal coach.
"I help men know exactly what to say, spark her interest, find an amazing gf [girlfriend]," Kim's Instagram bio reads.
When he spoke to Amy, he secretly filmed her on the glasses he was wearing.
Minje Kim, who sometimes goes by Jay, is a Sydney-based personal coach who teaches men how to approach women in public. Credit: Minje Kim
"It just made me look like a really easy person to approach and get dates from … I just gave him my number to get him off my back," she said.
Many of the comments left by others were humiliating to read.
"She looks like an Asian version of this porn star." "She's a 10 out of 10." "What's her @ [social media username]?"
"Am I an animal in a zoo?" Amy scoffed.
The Feed has sent Minje Kim multiple requests for comment, but did not receive a response.
"Mentally scarred": The impact of being secretly recorded
By filming in a publicly accessible place, Kim broke no laws. He has since removed the videos at Amy's request.
But Amy is still upset she has already been seen by millions on Kim's social media accounts, which are used to promote his dating coach business.
"I just felt like I was preyed on and used," she said.
Kim's coaching service claims to help "guys get more confident without being creepy".
A screenshot from one of Minje Kim's Instagram videos in which he gives his audience motivational advice, including "approaching that hot girl". Credit: Minje Kim
Amy isn't alone. Several other women have complained of non-consensual filming by Kim on the University of Sydney campus, student newspaper Honi Soit reports.
The Feed spoke to another woman, Mavish, who was approached by Kim in a shopping centre. She said she "felt initially uncomfortable but validated and a little flattered", and that he coaxed her into spending the evening with him.
Mavish realised she'd unwittingly appeared in a video after reading one of multiple Reddit posts warning others about Kim. She also had him take down the video.
"I was quite shocked and just very anxiety ridden. I couldn’t really believe something like that happened to me. Felt as if my privacy was violated," she said.
Amy is one of multiple women who have come forward, upset at being filmed without consent. Credit: Minje Kim
While taking photos and recording people in public is legal, Fileborn believes there's a lack of recognition around the potential harms.
"It hides under this veneer of being just consensual or just flirtatious," she said.
"I think that that has the potential to be hugely violating and to really undermine people's sense of trust."
Bianca Fileborn researches street-based and public harassment at the University of Melbourne. Source: Supplied
"I've been mentally scarred by this incident … been really cautious around strangers, questioning their intentions," Amy said.
"I'm scared to even go into the city nowadays, and the last time I did, I was so anxious and jumpy that I didn't enjoy my time there."
Up to 90 per cent of women consider that they have been harassed in public in their lifetime, and marginalised groups are disproportionately affected, Fileborn said.
"It's not about saying … no one could ever possibly flirt in public spaces. But for me, the question is around: Is the way that that's occurring ethical and consensual?" Fileborn said.
"Am I doing this because I'm actually genuinely interested in them as a human, or am I treating them as an object to practise my lines on?"
Is the 'pickup artist' movement making a comeback?
'Pickup artists' (PUAs) are mostly men who teach others how to seduce women using a series of techniques called 'game', which often involve manipulation.
For example, what the community calls 'negging' (giving backhanded compliments to undermine a woman's self-esteem) and 'the freeze out' (ignoring and pretending to stop caring about a woman if she says no to sex).
The Feed does not suggest Minje Kim is associated with the pickup artist movement.
The movement has included people like American Roosh V, , but who has since renounced pickup artistry.
Then there was Swiss-American Julien Blanc, , after promoting abusive behaviour towards women in his dating seminars.
Fileborn, who in their research has spoken to those targeted by pickup artists, said one commonality between these experiences was the man's persistence.
Anti-rape activists in New York at a 2016 protest against a planned meetup by members of men's group Return of Kings. Leader Roosh V had argued that rape ought to be legalised on private property. Source: Getty / Pacific Press, LightRocket
"The idea that women … say no when they don't mean it … we see this perpetuation of the myths and stereotypes that underpin and drive different forms of gender-based violence."
These days, coaches who teach 'game' pickup are still around, but it's not as popular as it once was, said men's dating coach David Thorpe.
Thorpe is critical of these so-called methods, which he said focus on delivering pickup lines in a specific order rather than organic conversation — which he labels extreme.
"Game is a bit adversarial towards women. It's … win and lose between men and women," he said.
"It sanitises the human connection … I can tell a gamer straight away if I come across one … it's all about the process and the percentages of conversion of approaches and numbers."
The demise of dating apps and the rise of the cold approach
The desire to find love in person seems to be having a revival, with some singles moving away from dating apps.
Dating app operators Bumble and Match have struggled with growth after the pandemic — Tinder's paid subscribers dropped by 8 per cent in the second quarter of this year, Reuters reports.
David Thorpe teaches men how to cold approach (respectfully, he says): the age-old dating strategy of approaching people in public.
"It is a bit of a Hollywood movie moment," he said.
He said it's how he met his wife, who he bumped into on a busy Sydney street while on his lunch break.
Thorpe films himself approaching other women on the street to market his dating coach business. He also uses smart glasses to record (he said there's a "big flashing light on the front" to indicate recording) or a video camera.
He said he seeks consent whenever possible before posting videos, unless the other person has already walked off.
"It comes down to the dating coach themselves, and if they are causing someone distress, then it is down to them to decide ruthlessly they can keep the content up," he said.
"If a lady is genuinely suffering because of that … I would take it down."
What can you do if you've been filmed in public without consent?
Months after being secretly recorded by dating coach Kim in the restaurant, Amy went to the police intending to report what had happened. They told her nothing could be done.
"This is the sort of stuff that ruins society. Sure it's legal, but you get paranoid women who won't talk to strangers, date or marry men as a result," Amy said.
There's currently no right to sue for invasions of privacy in Australia.
Chair of the Australian Privacy Foundation and law researcher at UNSW, David Vaile, said privacy laws are weaker in Australia than in most other developed nations.
David Vaile believes powerful social media companies like Meta and the rise in wearable tech like smart glasses are eroding Australians' privacy. Source: Supplied
Vaile believes there should be a reconsideration of what's allowed in public. These types of videos aren't new, but he said devices like smart glasses now make it "easier … and essentially invisible" to film unsuspecting people.
Social media giants like Meta have normalised the global publication of people's images, Vaile warned, and these can be exploited.
"They can now be used against you in dozens of different ways, both by individuals and scammers and now AI," he said.
Vaile said you may be able to sue for defamation if your reputation was damaged – for example, if the video was edited in a misleading way.
Amy still struggles to shake the fear of being approached in public again.
"I'm going to be much more cautious now," she said.
"I'll have to check, is this person wearing anything that could have a camera hidden in it? Does this person have ulterior motives?"
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732, or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.
