This article contains references to suicide and sexual harassment.
"Usually the storyline is that they're lonely," Lifeline volunteer Kathy* tells the Feed.
"I remember one of the first few times, I actually didn't realise what they were doing."
When her supervisor listened in to support her — as is the protocol when crisis calls get tricky or the person raises welfare concerns — her supervisor recognised what he was. A sex caller, phoning for his own gratification.
"I didn't even realise I was being sexually harassed," she said.
Now two years into volunteering at the crisis and suicide helpline, Kathy is a supervisor herself and knows the signs. "You can hear funny breathing," she says. "And sometimes you can hear other sounds as well."
The people calling the support service for phone sex aren't rampant, but they are a known type of unwanted caller phoning in and taking time away from real people in crisis.
During other difficult but welcome calls, Kathy has had to deal with imminent suicide concerns, risks around child protection, and callers who struggle to put their crisis - big or small - into words. Those are the challenging calls that fit the bill in her line of volunteer work. Not sex callers.
"They’re really annoying. You want to talk to someone who you can actually help but they're taking up your time. It doesn’t leave you feeling very comfortable," she said.
Kathy says people wanting phone sex don't call as much as they used to - but usually, once you get one sex call in a shift, the person will call again.
"They're challenging calls because ultimately they present as lonely people wanting to talk - and that's a very valid reason to call Lifeline," she said.
But those calls do make her apprehensive. Even when genuine male callers phone in and start the interaction by saying they're lonely, she's on alert.
"No one expects you to be on a call - it’s sexual harassment but at the end of the day it starts off very ambiguous sometimes," Kathy said.
It's not just Lifeline facing unwanted callers
Unwelcome calls are classified by Lifeline as those which are sexual in nature, abusive or threatening. Sometimes people will call the helpline purely to yell at whoever picks up.
Unwanted calls constitute 2 per cent of all calls to the support service, according to Lifeline statistics supplied to The Feed.
They're challenging calls because ultimately they present as lonely people wanting to talk - and that's a very valid reason to call Lifeline.Kathy, Lifeline volunteer
The support service now receives over 3000 calls a day, up from around 2500 which was the average before the pandemic. Lifeline's 24/7 text or webchat services will also add around 690 more contacts in a day.
The national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800RESPECT confirmed that its counsellors also received sexual harassment on the crisis line.
A spokesperson told The Feed in a statement: "Like most support services, 1800RESPECT can experience contact from people who engage in inappropriate behaviours, including sexual harassment.
"These types of calls are not unique to 1800RESPECT and are common across similar services."
Between 2021 to 2022, 1800RESPECT counsellors received 223,855 calls in the last financial year.
Both Lifeline volunteers and employees, as well as the trained counsellors at 1800RESPECT, can terminate a call when it becomes sexual in nature. At both support services, people answering crisis calls are trained, regularly supervised, debrief between sessions and have resources to support them.
These types of calls are not unique to 1800RESPECT and are common across similar services.1800RESPECT spokesperson
Madison, who has volunteered at Lifeline for five years, said the organisation has added extra strategies over the past few years to minimise unwanted calls. Repeat offenders can be blocked from calling for a period of time.
"I do get frustrated, although I know that any sort of free-to-call number receives these types of callers," she said.
"And in the end, I do also just feel sad for them because you kind of imagine the kind of person who decides to call her suicide crisis line for sexual gratification.
People who call Lifeline for phone sex usually target female volunteers and workers. Credit: Gavin Blyth
Simon, who has been working at Lifeline for seven years, says males don't face sex callers as much as their female counterparts.
"You can't escape it. [Female support workers] can only end the call once they’re absolutely confident that they’re being played."
Over the years he said it's quite a common subject for a female support worker to debrief about afterwards.
"You obviously chat all the time, in between calls, or when we get the chance in the tea room - and you can see that they’ve been affected.
"It is really hard to flip from the frustration of a call like that to then dealing with someone in deep crisis, the contrast, it’s almost overload for the brain sometimes."
For Kathy, who continues to volunteer and above all feels the work is rewarding, she says a warning that inappropriate content will not be tolerated usually ends with the caller quickly hanging up.
Lifeline volunteers Madison (left) and Simon say they often debrief with supervisors after a difficult call. Credit: Gavin Blyth
"You also don’t want to unwelcome someone unnecessarily if it is someone who is being authentic and is lonely," she said.
"That would be an awful thing to do. I'd feel so bad."
*Not her real name
Readers seeking crisis support can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (for young people aged up to 25). More information and support with mental health is available at and on 1300 22 4636.
If you or someone you know is experiencing, or at risk of experiencing, domestic, family or sexual violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit
