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Dancing like no one's watching.
Lorraine Fabb who is on the cusp of 80 may be dancing alone, but she's definately not lonely.
She's at a ballroom dance class for seniors in the suburbs of Melbourne.
Most of those there are paired off, practicing their moves, while Loraine is more than happy dancing by herself.
“Dance is... it's holistic exercise. It's so important. It's important physically, cardiovascular, emotional, intellectual in every possible way. Dance is truly holistic exercise. And again, it brings people together. So you're actually mixing with people. It's a social thing. It doesn't get any better. I can't think of any other activity that provides so much."
Lorraine didn't always feel this connected.
She says a creeping isolation started after she retired but eventually she managed to start making new connections through various hobbies, including acting and ballroom dancing.
But during Victoria's extensive COVID-19 lockdown, Lorraine found herself unable to attend any of her activities or see any of her friends and family.
And then a further blow increased her isolation.
"Then my cat died. The cat had been my companion right through the whole thing. Of course I've got my son, I've got my friends and so on. But we couldn't actually socialise. We couldn't do anything through the lockdown. So it was a very lonely period."
After Covid she was flicking through the local paper when she came across a story about Connect Local, a free program that promotes well-being through social connection.
It does this by getting a trained professional to help link over 65's to activities and services.
She says the service connected her with the University of the Third Age, a community centre and other activities.
Ending Loneliness Together is a national network of organisations who have come together to address the growing problem of loneliness.
Between June and July 2023, they surveyed 4,000 Australians aged between 18 and 92 to compile a report into loneliness in Australia.
But what exactly is loneliness?
Dr Michelle Lim is a Research Fellow at Swinburne University of Technology in Melbourne and also the Scientific Chair of Ending Loneliness Together.
“Loneliness affects everyone. And this is why our theme for the year is lonely, not alone. So you can be surrounded by people but still feel lonely. And it's really important that we actually don't confuse loneliness with being alone. Loneliness is defined as a subjective feeling of social isolation where you feel your social relationships do not meet your current social needs. Loneliness is subjective. So it can look very different for many people. People who are lonely do report that they feel like perhaps they don't have anyone to turn to or talk to or perhaps they feel misunderstood by people despite kind of having these interactions with others."
The report found one in three adults say they are lonely while one in six reported severe loneliness.
There is also a common misconception that older people are more likely to be lonely, but survey data reveals this is not the case with younger and middle-aged Australians reporting the highest levels of loneliness in 2023
The highest rate is for young people aged 18-24 followed by people aged 45-54 with men and women in equal numbers.
Forty per cent of people living alone experience loneliness with the rate at 30 per cent for those living with others.
For younger people researchers believe social media plays a part while for middle aged people there are varying factors.
Phil McAuliffe is in the 45-54 age bracket; he was married with a family and a glamorous job and still felt lonely.
"There was an article about how loneliness is widespread in middle aged men. And I read it and the penny dropped. My stomach sank. And I thought this is me. And I realised that I was showing up in life, really for everything else, but not myself. And indeed, I'd spent such a long time trying to be what I thought other people expected of me. And you know what other people thought were my abilities and capabilities, that I forgot to be me in all of that."
For Phil coming to terms with his loneliness was also partly about coming to terms with his sexuality.
Phil had been married to a woman and they had children together.
This came to an end after Phil acknowledged his sexuality and decided to live openly as a gay man.
Phil decided to draw on his lived experience to set up The Loneliness Guy - a platform for gay and queer men experiencing loneliness.
He says after his marriage ended and he started dating men, he noticed a pattern in some of the men he was meeting.
“I could tell that there was like really chronic deep loneliness, that was making them feel horrible. And they were looking for connection in potentially very unhealthy, very ineffective ways. And I thought, actually, I can help. I know something about this, I've got a platform, I know how to blog, I know how to podcast."
Loneliness is the feeling of wanting greater social connection than you currently have, but it's not the same as being alone.
Someone can spend time totally secluded in the bush, yet not feel lonely, and people can be surrounded by friends and family and still feel completely isolated.
Experts believe it's about the quality of relationships, with some saying the feeling is the body's way of telling us we need to try and make some stronger or new social connections.
Dr Lim says it's important people listen to these signals and do something about it.
"So if we feel lonely, it's a really a signal for us to reach out and connect with people. It's really important for us first, to understand that this feeling is normal, it is just a signal for you to seek the meaningful connections that you need. The other thing that we can think about is what has worked for us in the past and think about those activities. And what was meaningful to you in the past could actually be something that could work because again, the last thing really is around understanding what kind of resources that you might have. And if you don't have many people around you, it's actually okay to improve the quality of the relationships you already have. So we don't all have to make new friends, we can also focus on the current relationships that we have."
People with chronic health issues - whether physical or mental - also report higher levels of loneliness and experiencing loneliness can also increase your chances or health problems.
Social media addiction is also a driving factor with 16 per cent of people who are lonely reporting social media addiction compared to 9 per cent of people are not lonely.
Loneliness is also highly stigmatised further isolating people who fear reaching out .
Lorraine has had to work hard on increasing her social contacts and she encourages people of whatever age to bypass any feelings of shame and work on connecting with others.
"Get off your backside, go out, get off away from technology, put your phone down, get away from the computer, and actually go out and mix with people. Talk to people, ask questions, find things that you don't know about. I think the worst thing that anybody on their own can do is to sit there and say, what's going to happen? Nobody is helping me, well, turn it around, and get out and find what you can and make it happen for yourself."
The report also found people in regional areas are more likely to feel lonely than those in metropolitan areas.
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