Content warning: this story talks about suicide.
Just after Christmas in 2019, Joey Fry heard the most "heartbreaking sentence" of his life.
"There's been an accident and you've lost your leg," his mother said gently.
The 22-year-old from Newcastle lay in a hospital ICU ward. It had been a fraught few days for the family after Joey had tried to take his own life on Christmas Eve.
"I could hear the shake in her voice and I knew that I'd let her down," Joey told SBS Insight.
He was found on Christmas Day after lying for hours, his left leg on top of his right, which had cut off blood flow and caused the muscles and nerve endings in his right leg to die. When he was lifted out of position, the toxic blood from the leg ran to his heart and shut it down.
"I had to be revived a few times and was put into an induced coma. Eventually, they took my leg off," he said.
The plasterer had run a successful business and says he had always been "confident and active". But a few months before the incident, he split from his partner and became withdrawn.
"I surfed, I skated, and had a bunch of friends. I was never the guy who was down and out and feeling sorry for myself. But I became angry, aggressive and impatient, and I just wanted to be alone.
"I was suffering from severe loneliness, but I couldn't admit it."
Australians are lonelier than ever
While loneliness has affected humans since the dawn of time, experts say it's .
One in three Australians, or more than six million of us, feel lonely, according to the State of the Nation Report: Social Connection in Australia 2023, and one in six report severe levels of loneliness.
But despite how common loneliness is, one in two people feel embarrassed to talk about it.
Dr Michelle Lim, who is Chair of Ending Loneliness Together, says the statistics are "extremely worrying". Source: SBS
"We know that loneliness precedes other kinds of problems like chronic disease, mental health and reduced physical activity," she told SBS Insight.
It also perpetuates a vicious cycle, she adds.
"When people feel lonely, they tend to withdraw, which doesn't help. They don't smile or talk to people as much, then people think they're not in the mood to socialise so they don't talk to them."
Why are we becoming more lonely?
Experts say the value we place on convenience and privacy is slowly robbing us of social interaction.
As our world shifts online or becomes automated, there is simply less need for it. We buy groceries online or at a self-serve checkout, we work from home, we chat to friends via social media or text, and we meet new partners from our couch.
At the same time, we build houses with kitchens and living areas at the back instead of at the front where they used to be, and we create fenced-off backyards that bring privacy and security.
And we're no longer consuming the same media thanks to streaming services, so conversations are less unified.
Experts say loneliness is becoming a health crisis in Australia, with a third of us feeling lonely. Credit: EyeEm
"Face-to-face connection is the very thing that makes us human," Swan told SBS Insight.
"There's a fear for the future and I wanted to understand why connection is so important and what we can do to solve this problem of loneliness."
How to know if you're lonely and what to do about it
We all need different amounts of social connection to feel fulfilled, Lim explains.
"Some people feel happy with very little social contact or a very small network, and some people have better access and resources when it comes to making social connections than others."
"The goal isn't to find a new best friend, it's about building consistent and regular interactions and seeing where they go," she said.
And if someone in your life is lonely, she says the best way to help them is by normalising their situation but not trivialising it.
"You don't want to say, 'join the group and go do this, and you'll be fine', because you don't know that. That person may have a history of trauma or workplace bullying."
The goal isn't to find a new best friend.Dr Michelle Lim
She also advises against telling others to do something, which can come across as "demeaning and disrespectful".
"Loneliness is a very private feeling and comes with a lot of shame. The assumption that you know best probably isn't going to hit the mark. It's about asking them how you can help."
But it's also about helping those we don't know via everyday human interactions, she adds.
"We need to offer more than a hi and bye."
Making changes
Swan says he's made some changes in his own life as a result of the film. He spends less time on social media, and he prioritises calling people on the phone over messaging and face-to-face interactions over the phone.
He's also tried to de-stress his brain.
"Anxiety causes us to withdraw so de-stressing means connecting with others is easier. Instead of looking at my phone first thing in the morning, I go and sit in the sunlight."
He's also become more aware of the people around him.
"When I see someone in the street, I say hello and smile. While I might be in a really good place, I might be affecting someone who really needs it."
For Joey, it was a "long, hard slog" from the day he learned about his amputation.
He had rehab and was fitted with a prosthetic leg, but it was working alongside experts during the filming of The Great Separation that taught him how to recover mentally.
He's learned that he needs to interact with people regularly, but also in the right way.
"It's about being present, focusing on the person in front of you and making that connection more powerful. I found that people will mirror the kind of body language and the expressions that I'm giving out, which has actually had a really powerful effect on my dating life."
Joey says he's now happier than he's ever been in his life.
"I've learned to put myself out there, which has made me realise how strong I am and how far I've come."
Joey Fry says it took a catastrophic, life-changing incident for him to realise that he had all the support he needed right in front of him all along. Source: Supplied
"Loneliness is a human emotion that everyone goes through. I wouldn't feel embarrassed and I would tell that man to talk to somebody, talk to anybody.
"It took a catastrophic life-changing incident and an amputation above the knee for me to realise that I had family and friends and support right there in front of me."
Joey is now training to represent Australia as a skier in the 2026 Winter Paralympics in Italy.
"I would never have been the ambitious and goal-driven man that I am today if I hadn't put myself out there and said, 'let's do it'."
If this story has brought up anything for you, you can call on 13 11 14. You can also call on 1800 650 890 or the on 1800 551 800.
If you or someone you know is in immediate crisis, please call police and ambulance on 000.
