This week's Insight explores the body positivity movement and whether there should be a more nuanced approach to it. Watch 'Body Positivity' on Tuesday 11 April from 8:30pm on
For years, I was on a quest to lose weight.
When I was in my mid-twenties, I decided I was going to embark on yet another diet, which of course my friends and family supported me doing.
I signed up for a weight-loss program. After all, losing weight was the one thing I needed to do to reach the apex of my potential for the life I truly wanted. This was the message I both received, and put out into the world.
Support from friends came in many forms but in one particular way I won’t forget. A former friend supported my losing weight from a place of "concern" and now that I think of it, an extreme hatred of fat bodies.
April once received money for a weight-loss program from a friend who said she needed it more than anything else.
When I look back on that, I wonder why I would be friends with someone who hated me. Then, I remember that nobody hated my body more than me. These days, that’s changed.
I wouldn’t say I’m comfortable in my skin every day, that would be a little too “toxic positivity” and I’m not about that life. But since that point, so much has changed about my body, my friendship circles, and how responsible I am for how I let other people treat me.
No longer do I permit myself to have an inner monologue of hate and shame. If shame does creep in, something inevitable during times when my mood is low or stress is high, I look at all the people who make me happy and inspire me and I realise that all of them are also sometimes imperfect in their pursuit of self acceptance and that’s OK.
Body positivity is something that started for me when I saw other people sharing the ways they’d felt about their body in the past. At the time, I had no idea about the activist roots of the movement or how important it would become to me to fight to reinvigorate the original purpose. For me, there is so much more to it than neutrality and acceptance of bodies that don’t conform to social standards - though that is a key part of moving in the right direction.
Being a public figure representing something that many people don’t support can be tough. It’s even harder when people close to you express feeling certain ways and you want to shout “No, honestly! You’re fine! Please stop talking about going on a diet!” But I remind myself those people just aren’t where I am in my discovery of what’s true and what’s sponsored by diet drug manufacturers and perpetuated by society.
Body positivity is something that started for me when I saw other people sharing the ways they’d felt about their body in the past.April Hélène-Horton
For me, backlash looks like people messaging me about how I’m an unhealthy influence on kids. Messages saying I am only happy as a fat person now because I failed at losing weight and that I should stop pretending I am happy and just accept I’m a loser.
Real people in my real life used to say things like that to me, and I have moved through and on from how it made me feel. So here’s a tip, don’t waste your time DMing me, because I will block you and most likely, post your ridiculous messages on my stories for a laugh.
One of the things that helps most when I feel attacked or under scrutiny for simply existing without being apologetic about how I look is to remember the kind words people have said to me. Strangers who stop me on the street to speak about the work I do or a message from someone saying they bought their first swimsuit after seeing me wear one. Those people matter to me. Trolls and bullies can hop in the bin.
My relationship with my body remains coloured by the ways I’ve treated and thought about it over time, but I work on making sure I practice what I preach on a daily basis. I tell people often that “your body is the least interesting thing about you”; though, when you think about it, what privilege I have to say so, when people with darker skin than mine, or visible differences/disabilities, have their body and appearance made the one thing everyone seems to notice about them.
Every day I am proud of the hard work I put into being a slightly better, more educated, kinder person than I was the day before. I use the opportunities I get to share my message and to amplify the messages of others because I believe it is my purpose. It feels really good to accept yourself and others. There are no losers in that scenario.
