Key Points
- In Australia, men are three times more likely than women to die by suicide.
- Mental health advocate Glenn Cotter says many men still feel some stigma around opening up about mental health.
- Some men are also unaware of their symptoms and find it difficult to access professional help.
This article contains references to suicide.
Glenn Cotter has spent years working in suicide prevention and mental health advocacy and travels around the country educating men about the importance of speaking up if they are struggling.
But when he experienced a breakdown himself, he was hesitant to open up and attempted to keep his issues to himself.
"I was ashamed about the fact that I could stand up and tell other people how to look after themselves and I couldn't do it for myself," he said.
Cotter said while mental health awareness is generally improving, many men — particularly in regional areas — find it difficult to talk about it or access support.
Cotter eventually opened up about his issues to a friend, who would regularly call him to catch up and ask how he was doing.
He credits these conversations with turning his life around.
"That adage that a conversation can change a life — for me, it was incredibly true," he said.
Turning loss into awareness
Robert Harris was a passionate musician, devoted father, avid surfer, and popular member of his local community.
Two years ago, he died by suicide.
His son Jay Harris described the loss as "devastating", and said it had a profound impact on their entire family.
In response, a group of them came together to turn their loss into action and created the live music event song for Bob.
The event celebrates Robert's life while also raising awareness about the importance of discussing mental health and raises funds for suicide prevention charity R U OK?.
Harris said he believes men from older generations find it particularly difficult to talk about mental health.
"Dad wouldn't express the severity of his situation and would continuously say 'I'll be fine mate, I'm just having a spin out' [and] he would often avoid things like going to the doctors," he said.
"I think, through conversation and awareness, this stigma is slowly being broken down as generations pass."
Jay Harris organised the Song for Bob festival after his father, Bob, died by suicide. Source: Supplied / Jay Harris
"This is a conversation that I have had with many of my friends and continue to have," he said.
"I used to be ashamed of being depressed and thought something was wrong with me, but over the years, I've learned that it's really not weak to speak."
Dad wouldn't express the severity of his situation.Jay Harris
Men more likely to die by suicide
According to data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), there are an average of about nine deaths by suicide each day in Australia.
Men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women, according to the ABS.
In 2022, 2,455 males died by suicide in Australia; an increase of 2.6 per cent from 2021.
For men aged between 15 and 49, suicide and self-inflicted injuries were the leading cause of ill health and death.
Simon Rice, director of the Movember Institute of Men's Health, told SBS News there are likely several factors impacting men's mental health and suicide rates.
Rice said the barriers to getting treatment include awareness of symptoms, difficulty accessing professional help, and their own sense of identity as a man and perception of masculinity.
"The need to be in control, the need to be stoic, the need to be seen to be invulnerable ... are really significant needs for some men," he said.
"We need to make sure that men have a sense that even though they might have those internalised needs, people still want to support them, and services are available to support them to get better."
Rice said despite increasing awareness of mental health, some men continue to struggle to speak out when they are struggling.
"I think sometimes men do get stuck into a trap of thinking and feeling like they have to go it alone — sometimes that's okay, and their symptoms can resolve naturally, but not always," he said.
"Reaching out to people in your network; loved ones, family, a close colleague at work, or services ... trying to reach out and get another person's opinion on it can be a really valuable step."
'The hardest thing I've ever done'
Steve Le Marquand has been the person on the other end of this conversation several times throughout his life.
Le Marquand, who works as an actor, told SBS News both himself and many of his friends had struggled with alcohol and use of other substances.
He was forced to stop drinking due to illness, which he said led to people approaching him about their issues.
"I became a mate they could talk to about stopping drinking, how to deal with mental health and how to fill the void when you stop drinking," he said.
"People approached me in times when they were experiencing massive suicidal ideation; one so much so where he was in a situation where he was about to take his own life, and I immediately raced over."
Not long after that incident, Le Marquand's friend died by suicide.
He described the feeling as "hollow" and "empty", and said he grappled with whether he could or should have done anything differently.
If he could speak to his friend again, Le Marquand said he would ask whether there was anything that could have changed the devastating outcome.
"And I'd want to tell them they were loved. They were dearly, dearly loved, and they just couldn't see it or feel it," he said.
Cotter said asking for help is the most difficult — but vital — step for many men struggling with mental health.
He described asking for help as the hardest thing he has ever done and said the most important way to support a person is to simply listen to them.
"To sit and genuinely listen to somebody, it is hard.
"But that's the biggest thing for so many people, just being heard and feeling that you're not invisible ... so the fact that someone actually cares and sits and listens is a massive thing."
Readers seeking crisis support can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (for young people aged up to 25).
More information and support with mental health is available at and on 1300 22 4636.
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