Some LGBTIQ+ Australians are having to pick between their culture and their identity

For some LGBTIQ+ people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds, the choice to leave their families and hometowns behind to be with more people like them in the city is the only option. But things are becoming more inclusive.

Skye Paez and Victoria Anthony have been best friends for ten years.

Skye Paez and Victoria Anthony have been best friends for ten years. Source: SBS

When Skye Paez first met Victoria Anthony at a party in Strathfield ten years ago, they clicked straight away.

“It was really hard to find somebody similar to me growing up in Fairfield [in western Sydney],” Skye tells SBS News. 

“So, when we met, it was an instant bond.”

As you scroll through their social media feeds, it is easy to tell the friends, both transwomen, remain inseparable today.

Skye, whose family are from Chile and Uruguay, says Victoria is one of her biggest inspirations, and it was only while visiting her when she lived in New York that she realised she also wanted to transition.
Skye Paez was inspired to transition after visiting Victoria in New York.
Skye Paez was inspired to transition after spending time with Victoria in New York. Source: SBS
“She was starting to transition at the time and because we both felt the same way, I decided it was the right thing for me to do too," the 33-year-old says.

“I felt in my heart that I knew I was always a woman, but I didn’t know I could do anything about it. Victoria really did inspire me and show me that there was a way to live my authentic life.”

Victoria and Skye now both live in the same building in the inner-Sydney suburb of Darlinghurst. 

Victoria, 30, also grew up in western Sydney. She says although her Filipino family were welcoming of her identity, growing up in Bankstown was not always easy for her.

“I went to an all-boys high school. It was really challenging.” 

“I would say I was quite safe, but I didn’t really know anyone from the LGBTIQ+ community. So, I had to go to the city to start meeting other people.”
Victoria Anthony now works as a DJ on Oxford Street.
Victoria Anthony now works as a DJ on Oxford Street. Source: SBS
A study released last month found many LGBTIQ+ people from western Sydney who are from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds felt they needed to choose between moving to the city to access LGBTIQ+ services and community or staying at home to be closer to family.

The research project, , was a collaboration between the NSW LGBTIQ Domestic & Family Violence Interagency, LGBTIQ+ health service ACON and Western Sydney University.

It also found some felt left behind by mainstream LGBTIQ+ services.

Of the participants in the study who had disclosed their identity to their family, more than half (52.8 per cent) said their LGBTIQ+ identity affected their relationship with their family "for the worse". A quarter of respondents also said they experienced prejudice-related abuse during Australia's marriage equality campaign in 2017.
Western Sydney had the highest number of same-sex marriage ‘no’ voters in the same-sex marriage postal survey. The 12 Greater Western Sydney electorates that voted against marriage equality are home to some of Australia’s most culturally, religiously, and linguistically diverse populations, according to 2016 data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

Since 2018, and the legalisation of same-sex marriage, just over three per cent of all marriages in the Greater Western Sydney area have been same-sex according to the NSW Registry of Births Deaths & Marriages.

Victoria says she was not shocked when she saw how many people voted against it.
“I was not surprised. I was bullied in high school, a lot of people are still closeted in the area, and that’s just because there’s not a lot of support out there.”

While living in her hometown, Victoria says her saving grace was a local community radio station that helped introduce her to the LGBTIQ+ community.

“There was a radio show that I listened to, ‘Queer Out West’. It was based in Liverpool. They would do something every Monday night”. 

“It was a great way to know what was going on out west. There would be a few parties, like social dances, but not as much as what’s in the city.”

She now works as a DJ on Oxford Street.
Skye Paez and Victoria Anthony
Skye Paez and Victoria Anthony both grew up in western Sydney but now live in inner-city Sydney. Source: SBS
While it's not uncommon for many young people to want to leave the family home for the 'big city' regardless of their sexuality or identity, it is more common for those from diverse backgrounds to remain with their parents for longer. 

(AIFS) found cultural background had an influence on the likelihood of young people (20-24 years old) to live with their parents.

The research revealed young people born in Australia with culturally diverse ancestry are more likely to live at home with their parents compared to those with Australian, Northwestern European or New Zealand backgrounds. Eighty per cent of the participants from culturally diverse backgrounds in the study were still living in their parents’ home.

Sarah Lambert, the director of community health and regional services at ACON, says historically many LGBTIQ+ people from regional areas will also move to the city.

“There is a history of LGBTIQ+ people moving to the inner west or the city. It goes back to the days when homosexuality was illegal," she says.  

"People felt, like any cultural group, the need to come together and live together in a place where they feel safe and where they could meet.”

But Ms Lambert says problems can arise when a majority of the LGBTIQ+ community are based in one area.

“Some of the structural problems are housing affordability.”
“It also means that people from culturally diverse backgrounds feel they have to make a choice, between living with their cultural communities or moving to where they can meet their queer family.”

It’s a choice that Skye felt she had to make.

“I felt that I had to choose between living my authentic self and my culture - and I choose my authentic self.”

“My culture, being South American is not very accepting of transwomen. I still identify as South American, I still love Latin music and Latin food, and I just don’t let it get to me. I think it will come around eventually.”
Erdem is the Queer Representative for Western Sydney University’s student representative council
Erdem is the queer representative for Western Sydney University’s student representative council. Source: SBS
Erdem, 26, grew up in western Sydney’s Granville. Although his Turkish family were supportive of him being gay, he found it difficult to express himself at his all-boys religious high school.

He says he didn’t know where he could find LGBTIQ+ support in the area.

“I think LGBTIQ+ services have left culturally and linguistically diverse people behind.”

“The services need to understand that they have a diverse community so there will need to be a change. You’ll need to refine your services to cater to these people."

Erdem is now the queer representative for Western Sydney University’s student council and the president of the Queer Collective. He hopes he can make student life more inclusive for the LGBTIQ+ community. 

“I think for people growing up now it will be a great thing to see other people like you in a certain space," he says. 

“When I grew up, I didn’t know there were other people like me. Now, with these events like Parramatta Pride Picnic, the university events I’m creating, it will help people know that western Sydney has events for the LGBTIQ+ community."
A City of Parramatta Council spokesperson has told SBS News that it supports a wide range of services and activities to develop a supportive LGBTIQ community in western Sydney.

"Council is a collaboration partner in the NSW LGBTIQ Domestic and Family Violence Interagency and the Parramatta Queer Forum, and supports the work of key local organisations including the Inclusive Communities Network, ACON, and the Western Sydney Migrant Resource Centre", a spokesperson said. 

Country towns are also increasingly embracing the LGBTIQ+ community with pride events growing across regional NSW.

“Last year we saw 18 fabulous Mardi Gras and pride events happening across regional NSW,” Ms Lambert says. 

“This year we had 22 planned events, so they are growing, but sadly they are postponed this year because of COVID-19.

“We’re really hoping that we’ll all be out in force next year, as strong as ever, because we know that visibility and sharing our stories is what makes the difference for our health and wellbeing.”

LGBTIQ+ Australians seeking support with mental health can contact QLife on 1800 184 527 or visit


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8 min read
Published 21 June 2020 7:29am
Updated 23 June 2020 11:11am
By Emma Lawson


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