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Cindy fled abuse with just $12 and the clothes she was wearing. This is how she's helping others
Millions of Australians have experienced domestic and family violence and many flee their homes with children and only the clothes they are wearing. This is how one survivor is giving back.
Published 26 November 2022 6:30am
By Sandra Fulloon
Source: SBS News
Image: "When you have nothing and can’t go home, you don’t know what you’re going to do,” Cindy says. (Supplied Cindy)
This article contains references to domestic violence.
Cindy is a 47-year-old mother of two living in rental housing in a Brisbane suburb. She is among thousands who know first-hand the challenge of starting over, after living in hiding with her daughter to escape an .
Police intervened in September 2016, advising Cindy and her then 11-year-old daughter to flee their home, after a perpetrator allegedly made threats.
“We left the police station with nothing but what we were wearing, $12 and half a tank of petrol and a domestic violence order (DVO),” she tells SBS News.
Cindy and her daughter sought shelter with relatives and, during their two months in hiding, she says the perpetrator recorded multiple breaches of court orders.
It was a stressful time, made worse by having no income or personal possessions.
“I cried when I was given clean underwear, because when you have nothing and can’t go home, you don’t know what you’re going to do,” Cindy says.
It’s these situations that not-for-profit clothing redistribution charity Thread Together is working to address through a new campaign.
The campaign roll-out coincides with the annual United Nations-backed , which runs until 10 December.
“We are installing 100 wardrobes and capsule services in shelters all around the country,” Thread Together CEO Anthony Chesler says.
“Since we started about six weeks ago, we have installed 15 wardrobes in New South Wales and in Queensland.”
Rolled out at a cost of $1 million, the three-year campaign provides emergency clothing for women and men who have fled domestic and family violence.
Thread Together CEO Anthony Chesler. Credit: SBS / Sandra Fulloon
The Australian Bureau of Statistics' found that one in six women and one in seventeen men had experienced partner violence.
In 2020-21 more than 116,000 people who were assisted by specialist homelessness services had experienced family or domestic violence, according to the federal government's .
Among the first recipients of Thread Together's wardrobes was the Bayside Women’s Shelter, in south east Sydney.
“Our first priority for women is their safety, and after that comes the necessities of life,” says general manager Sallianne Faulkner.
“An offer of new clothing inside the shelter means women don’t have to journey outside in the initial days when they are traumatised or may show signs of violence.”
Sallianne Faulkner, general manager of Bayside Women's Shelter. Credit: SBS / Sandra Fulloon
Charities such as Anglicare and Food Bank have reported at 50 per cent above pre-pandemic levels this year.
The Bayside Women’s Shelter was set up four years ago and offers crisis accommodation to survivors of family and domestic violence.
Ms Faulkner says the shelter’s six bedrooms are consistently full, with more than 145 women and children supported so far across a total of 8,000 bed nights.
“We definitely need greater capacity. We need support with more resources.”
That’s what Cindy is also trying to provide through her social enterprise Lil Bug Love, which she started in 2018. Kits are packed with toys and games to help children impacted by domestic violence.
Cindy still feels guilty about having her daughter present as she recounted details of her abuse to police investigators.
“My daughter’s trauma was made worse by listening to me tell my story to police,” she says.
Cindy later vowed to support other families in the same situation.
“I provide kits with games and even tablets and headphones, to keep children distracted while their parents describe their [often traumatic] situation to police,” she says.
Crestmead Police Station in Brisbane was one of the first to trial the kits. Officer-in-Charge, Senior Sergeant Warren Parker, says the area has one of the highest rates of domestic violence in Queensland.
Cindy packing kits at home. Credit: Supplied Global Sisters
Cindy started with a grant from Youth Family Service, a non-profit which works to end domestic and family violence in Logan, Brisbane, and has grown the venture steadily with support from female entrepreneurship platform Global Sisters.
Cindy now supplies 12 police stations from Springwood to Rathdowney with ‘Comfort’ or ‘Distraction’ kits.
More than 2,500 children have now received a Lil Bug Love kit, and she has plans to expand further.
“Police in regional Queensland are asking for more kits, and I also have requests from Victoria,” she says.
Thread Together is also reaching out to the wider community, thanks to donations from corporate Australia including the Commonwealth Bank, and Goodman Foundation.
Clothing is donated by leading brands including David Jones, the Iconic, P.E Nation, Boody and Under Armour.
“Thread Together partners with the fashion industry all around the country to divert brand new clothing that hasn't been sold,” says Mr Chesler.
“We are now working with more than 1,000 retailers across the country, and supplying around 1,200 registered charities and welfare agencies.
“We have so far distributed about 1.2 million units of clothing into the community, clothing 2,500 people each week.”
Thread Together's Natalie Karp. Credit: SBS / Sandra Fulloon
Volunteer Natalie Karp is the daughter of Ukrainian refugees who migrated to Australia after World War Two.
“I'm giving something that my parents never had,” she says while sorting piles of new clothing.
“Back in the 1940s there was nothing like this, they had to source second-hand clothes from charities.
“So, to give someone brand new clothing offers them so much dignity.”
Thread Together is helping to clothe families in the flood zone. Credit: Supplied Thread Together
As Cindy says, it’s all about supporting the vulnerable.
“I wish I could have done more for my daughter, but I am so grateful that I have this opportunity to make a difference for so many children and their mums," she said.
“My daughter is 18 and I am proud that she is now is standing up and speaking out about domestic violence herself these days.”
If you or someone you know is impacted by family and domestic violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit . In an emergency, call 000.
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