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Angelo was 12 when his father was murdered. This is the support he wishes he'd had
A world-first residential trauma centre for children who have lost a loved one to homicide has opened in Sydney, on the 37th anniversary of the murder of Australian nurse Anita Cobby.
Published 3 February 2023 6:17am
By Emma Brancatisano
Source: SBS News
Image: Angelo Cusumano says Grace's Place is a "beacon of hope" for children impacted by homicide. (SBS News)
Angelo Cusumano remembers his father as being his family’s “protector”.
“Loving, hard-working, funny… he was our everything,” he told SBS News. “He left his mark on the world.”
Mr Cusumano was 12 years old when his father’s life was tragically cut short.
Days before Christmas in 1995, Angelo Cusumano Snr was working at their family-run video games store in Sydney’s south when he was murdered in an armed robbery. His son was at the store when it happened.
“He went to work, people came in and he never came home,” Mr Cusumano said.
As a child attempting to deal with a “new normal”, he recalls “losing trust in the world”.
“You ask yourself a lot of questions: ‘Why us? Why him? Why them?’”
He says he leaned on his mother and the newly-formed Homicide Victims Support Group (HVSG), but that there was little support for young people.
Angelo Cusumano Snr pictured with his four children. Source: Supplied
Grace’s Place, a residential trauma centre for children and young people impacted by homicide, opened its doors to the public on Thursday.
Said to be a world-first, it provides counselling, therapeutic programs and accommodation for up to 24 children and their carers.
It’s hoped the centre will be a space for them to heal and learn skills to survive their trauma.
For Mr Cusumano, his family and others involved in the initiative, it was an emotional day that was years in the making.
Losing a loved one to murder: Anita Cobby's legacy
A magnolia tree is planted at the entrance to Grace’s Place, located in Doonside in Sydney’s west.
Donated by a local nursery, it honours the legacy of the late Grace Lynch, the mother of Australian nurse Anita Cobby.
Five men abducted, raped and murdered Ms Cobby in Western Sydney in 1986. The men were convicted and handed life sentences for the crime. One of them has since died in jail.
In the aftermath of their daughter’s murder, Ms Lynch and her husband Garry were introduced to the parents of Ebony Simpson, who was murdered on her way home from school in the NSW town of Bargo in 1992. She was nine years old.
READ MORE
Anita Cobby remembered 30 years on
The parents set up the HVSG to help others who had lost a loved one to homicide.
Today, it has approximately 4,200 family members - a number it says grows on average every three days.
The group will manage Grace’s Place, which has been named in honour of Grace Lynch.
The magnolia was her favourite flower, and stands in memory of all homicide victims.
A magnolia tree sits at the entrance to Grace's Place. Source: SBS News
‘Something good from something so bad’
Retired Detective Chief Inspector Gary Raymond was one of the NSW Police detectives who investigated Ms Cobby’s murder and developed a close bond with her parents.
He recalls sitting one day with Ms Cobby’s father, Garry, in silence over a cup of tea.
“After a while, I broke the silence. I said, ‘Garry, what are you thinking, mate?’ He grabbed my hands and squeezed them tight. I’ll never forget these words. He said, ‘Gary, something good has to come out of something so bad.’"
Sydney nurse Anita Cobby was murdered in February 1986. Source: AAP
37 years since Anita Cobby’s murder
Thursday’s opening marks 37 years since Ms Cobby’s murder. Her sister Kathryn Szyszka, a patron of Grace’s Place, remembered Ms Cobby as a “beautiful person, inside and out”.
“At the time when Anita was murdered, I was 20 years old. It just changes the world that you know - you don’t know how you’re going to go forward after suffering that loss,” she said.
This year marks a new anniversary for Ms Szyszka and her family, one she says her mother would be proud of.
“She was such a gentle, wonderful, kind person who was always willing to help others. I know that she would be humbled and honoured.”
Kathryn Szyszka, sister of Anita Cobby, with Angelo Cusumano. Source: SBS News
Children are ‘falling through the cracks’
Homicide is on the rise in Australia, according to the latest data, but one expert says children and young people who lose a loved one are being left behind.
Since 1989, the Australian Institute of Criminology has run the National Homicide Monitoring Program (NHMP) which is the only national collection of data on incidents, victims and offences.
The NHMP refers to homicide as the unlawful killing of a person, and collects data on all cases resulting in a person or persons being charged with murder or manslaughter.
In 2019-20 the latest reporting period, the homicide rate increased in Australia. There were 261 incidents recorded - a rise of 35 from the previous year - while the rate rose from 0.88 to 1.02 per 100,000. This was the highest number of homicide incidents recorded since 2005-06.
In 2019-20, the rate of domestic (involving family members or people in a domestic relationship) and stranger homicides increased, while acquaintance homicides decreased.
Domestic homicides can be differentiated based on the relationship between the victim and the offender, with intimate partner homicides being the most prevalent type in Australia. In 2019-20, women were the victims in 80 per cent of intimate partner homicides, according to the NHMP.
LISTEN TO
Trauma centre opens to support families touched by homicide
SBS News
02/02/202304:14
Professor Eva Alisic, from the University of Melbourne, researches how young people and their families deal with traumatic events, including those who have lost a parent to homicide.
“Traditionally, these young people have really fallen through the cracks in terms of support,” she told SBS News.
Professor Alisic says there are few figures on children who are bereaved by homicide overall in Australia.
“What we do know, specifically from our domestic homicide study, is more international data. If we extrapolate that to account for the Australian population size, that would mean about 1,000 children and young people would have lost a parent due to domestic homicide over a period of 20 years,” she said.
“The entire group of children and young people affected by homicide more broadly is bigger than that. It’s not a small group.”
How are children impacted by homicide?
Detective Chief Inspector Raymond said children impacted by homicide can suffer “enormous and complex” grief. For those who are at the scene of a homicide, they might also be affected by sensory stimuli around them.
Professor Alisic said the impacts of such trauma on children and young people can vary across mental health, social wellbeing, learning, relationships and physical health.
“All of a sudden, they have a severe loss in their lives, their life is practically turned upside down. And that has a major grief reaction as a result,” she said.
There’s often a stigma attached to homicide, she added, which can be difficult for a young person to navigate.
And, impacts can be long-term. As children move into adolescence, Professor Alisic said they might face questions surrounding their identity - of “being the child or a family member of somebody who has been killed”.
What supports are available?
Professor Alisic said there is a “scattered offering” of support for children bereaved by homicide in Australia.
“It is often dependent on people being very proactive, seeking out support and trying to find a professional who has experience in this, which is often not the case,” she said.
She said there is a real need for more “coordinated” and “specialised” support.
Retired Detective Chief Inspector Gary Raymond developed a close connection with Anita Cobby's parents. Source: SBS News
“You look back and you see what we didn’t have,” he said.
“We used to get a nurse or a social worker to take them to a motel. Now we can bring them here [Grace's Place]. They’ve got safety and security and are surrounded by those who care and counsel them.”
‘A place of healing, solace and comfort’
Grace’s Place will provide affected families from NSW immediate assistance after a homicide.
Highly specialised staff will provide support to children and their carers with accommodation, meals, counselling and activities. It features several therapy rooms designed for young children, such as sand play, music and arts.
Children from across Australia can also be referred for inclusion in programs offered at the centre.
“This is a place of healing, solace and comfort for children and teenagers and their families, where they can learn the skills to survive their trauma,” HVSG Director Martha Jabour OAM said.
“It is a reminder that there are more good people in the world than bad.”
She said the centre's facilities were shaped by the ideas of children who have lost a loved one.
“We asked the children growing up without their parents, their fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, cousins. We asked them, what is it that you would like if we were to build Grace’s Place?
“And they told us.”
NSW Governor Margaret Beazley cuts the ribbon, alongside Homicide Victims' Support Group members, signalling the opening of Grace's Place. Source: SBS News
NSW Governor Margaret Beazley attended the opening, and said she finds “the level of depravity that brings us here today simply unfathomable”. But, she said, the human spirit lives on.
“Today is about goodness. Grace’s Place speaks to and of that human spirit,” she said, acknowledging the families of those who have lost loved ones.
“You have brought here to Grace’s Place perseverance, resilience, peace and serenity - and something very beautiful.”
Attending on behalf of the Albanese government, Communications Minister Michelle Rowland reflected on the murder of Ms Cobby, having grown up in Blacktown herself.
“Today, the collective heart of Blacktown breaks all over again,” she said.
“It is unimaginable what pain people who knew and loved Anita endure each and every day.
“The establishment of Grace’s Place by the HVSG here in Western Sydney is a recognition of this experience, appropriately named after Grace Lynch, Anita’s mother.”
A ‘world-first’ model
Grace’s Place is said to be a world-first model in catering specifically for children affected by homicide.
“It’s something where we should be proud in NSW that this is leading the world in relation to this type of facility,” said Detective Superintendent Danny Doherty APM, NSW Police Homicide Squad Commander.
Professor Alisic believes attention to those left behind by a homicide has been “lagging” across the world.
She said projects in the United States and the Netherlands, among other countries, are showing “promising signs”.
“But there’s definitely lots more to do in terms of better support for these children.”
Detective Superintendent Doherty said he is “fairly confident” other states will be looking at Grace’s Place.
“I think it’s something every state should have. It feels a need that is long overdue,” he said.
Professor Alisic agreed.
“There is so much to gain from having that centralised support,” she said.
Grace's Place is named in honour of Grace Lynch (right), Anita Cobby's mother. Source: AAP
“Grace’s Place is a beacon of hope, and I believe that walking through the gates today, it’s exactly what we had imagined and hoped,” he said.
“It will restore faith, trust and make their future better.”
The man convicted over Angelo Cusumano Sr’s murder was released on parole with strict conditions in August 2011 after serving 15 years in jail.
Mr Cusumano Sr’s wife Mary and their children continue to run the video games store, The Gamesmen, today.
The journalist who wrote this story is related to Angelo Cusumano. He is her second cousin.
