In 2009, Hassan Malik came to Australia as a student from Pakistan and studied nursing.
Six years ago he got in touch with Rose who of Filipino background. Soon their relationship took off from just being friends.
“I can surely say that we really do complement each other. It was not an overnight decision like, 'Let's get married,' or 'I am in love with you'.” Hassan told SBS Urdu.
“It took us five years to learn about each other, likes and dislikes and love was always there... We were in a similar field; we both are nurses and work for the same organisation."
The couple got married a year ago but their relationship came with several challenges.
Hassan was a Muslim while Rose was a Christian.
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Religion
According to Rose, the biggest challenge about the relationship was religion.
“I came from a family where we are all Catholic. We religiously go to the church every Sunday. Getting married to someone who is out of our comfort zone was very challenging.”
Rose said that although there are Muslims in the Philippines, she knew “very little” about Islam.
I gave myself a chance to understand and get to know the religion. That helped me to decide that this is what I want to do.
“I didn’t do it just for him. I thought about it a lot. There is a lot of stigma about Muslim people, Islam itself.
“For me what’s important is that you don’t do bad to other people. It is more about you as a human being that you do good to other people and not harm them, treat people with respect.”
For Hassan, it was one of the happiest days of his life when Rose became a Muslim.
Rose and Hassan participated in the SBS series "Marry me marry my family" Source: SBS
“Deep inside me, I always wanted my life partner to be a Muslim. During our five year relationship, Rose realised how important my faith is to me."
I did not force her [to convert to Islam]. I told her that if you want to change your religion it is entirely up to you.
Hassan and Rose married in the Islamic way and had receptions both in Pakistani and Filipino traditions.
Arranged marriage
Source: SBS
Religion was not the only challenge for the couple. Hassan’s family had already organised a wedding for Hassan with his first cousin back home.
“They had already picked a girl. My marriage was fixed as per the Pakistani culture.”
When Hassan first proposed Rose and told her about his engagement, she refused his proposal. He broke up with her and returned to Pakistan.
“I got married to my first cousin, back home. It was a big pressure and you cannot say no to your family because they have high hopes for you. If you just say no, it is a big no and can split the family apart.
“I was in a difficult situation because I was in an arranged marriage, [but] on the other hand, I was in love with Rose and I didn’t want to leave her.”
After two years in an unhappy marriage, Hassan moved back to Australia without his wife.
Source: SBS
“I was already married back home. But Rose and I started seeing each other again.
Rose said that they tried to hide their relationship with a lot of people.
“My family didn’t accept it at the beginning. My mum didn’t want me to have a very complicated life.
“But as days go by, they saw how happy I was with him. So they decided that whatever makes you happy, we will support you.
“It came to the point where I thought that I have had enough. I don’t care when is it wrong to love someone and fall in love.”
After two years, Hassan’s wife joined him in Australia. Rose decided to meet the wife.
Nikkah ceremony Source: SBS
“I explained to her that I didn’t come to her to argue. I didn’t come here to fight with you. I wanted you to know that I want to be with Hassan. Why don’t we be honest with each other about our emotions?
Hassan’s wife asked him what “he wanted” and he told her “Rose is his life”.
She got upset and returned to Pakistan.
“We decided to divorce mutually,” Hassan said.
“The only thing is I am thinking of is that we are really happy right now. Whatever with her now, I just wish her to be happy.” Rose said.
“She isn’t a bad person. It was just that she was in an unfortunate situation, no one wants to be in.”
Hassan and Rose are now expecting their first child later this year.
explores cross-cultural weddings in Australia. Watch or stream new episodes weekly Tuesdays 7, 14 and 21 of January, 8:30 pm on SBS and .
