Highlights
- Romina Pistolas* has worked as a stripper in a number of Australian cities for seven years.
- She says clients often confide in strippers and see them as "keepers of secrets".
- Her book 'Carmen, or how I got started in the business of dancing without clothes' catalogues her experiences working in the industry.
During more than seven years working as a stripper in Adelaide, Perth and now Melbourne, Romina Pistolas* says clients often confide in her about their deepest, and sometimes darkest secrets.
"They have told me some very serious and also funny things," she told SBS Spanish.
The reason, as she believes, was that they felt safe telling a stripper their secrets, because strippers themselves often hide their occupation and wouldn't be believed or seen as credible.
Ultimately, she said it's because a client often felt their secret would be kept.
Many clients prefer to talk to a sex worker rather than a psychologist or a therapist.Carmen Pistolas
"And they tell us things they don't tell anyone else, neither friends nor family. They think of us as keepers of secrets."
She cited several examples of secret-telling by her clients, ranging from a returned Australian soldier dealing with the guilt due to his actions during an overseas deployment; to a lonely, 90-year-old man who had just got out of the hospital and paid her $100 to hug him for 10 minutes.
She says she would even get grooms-to-be on bucks' nights who said they didn't want to get married and felt pressured by their fiancee and family to do so; and a man seeking inspiration to be able to go home and impregnate his wife after the couple's struggles to fall pregnant.
'I pretended I was braver than I was'
Ms Pistolas arrived in Perth at the age of 23 on a working holiday visa from Chile, excited about the opportunity to have a full year to enjoy life in Australia.
But she was soon hit by a "harsh reality" that dimmed her expectations and forced her to find a way to put food on her table.
“I was super young," she said.
I had little to lose and a lot to gain in a very short time, with a one-year visa in Australia.Romina Pistolas, author of the book 'Carmen'
"I had been losing jobs for years, having to lock myself in the bathroom to deal with my anxiety episodes, then I finally found one that suited me - stripping."
she writes in her book:
"Working at the club, it was a personal choice of how many days a week one attended – it gave me the peace of mind that I could work when I could, that is, when I felt good.
My first day as a stripper was not unlike my first day at school. On both occasions I pretended to be braver than I really was.Carmen Pistolas
Life in Australia had become very expensive before she turned to stripping, she recalled.
She worked as a cleaner and as a runner in an optical lens factory in Sydney, but couldn't make enough money to "live comfortably".
So when she had to choose between buying a bottle of milk or paying for a train ticket, drastic decisions became inevitable, she said.
Then, an offer arrived - a job at a nightclub which included stripping.
“Why not?” was her answer.
“Maybe it will allow me to explore what I really want to do and help develop my artistic streak,” she explained.
“[I also wanted to] understand how this world works... [because] money equals power and I wanted a little bit of that power.”
Birth of a book about her experiences
Ms Pistolas said she also wanted to tell her story, and that's how the idea to write the book ''Carmen, or how I got started in the business of dancing without clothes" was born.
The book was published in Chile in 2022, sparking wide-ranging reactions, both positive and negative.
“I found that people were very surprised that a person like me... who finished my university studies in Chile, who came from a well-to-do family with both parents working as teachers, who were professionals, decided to work as a stripper for her own pleasure,” she said.
Romina Pistolas* says stripping allowed her to control her working hours as well as earn a good wage. Credit: Romina Pistolas*
Challenging stereotypes about the industry
Ms Pistolas said she hoped her book would work to change the way society thinks about workers in the sex industry.
“[I want to change] the narrative of a woman who emigrates and ends up working as a sex worker out of necessity and under dangerous circumstances in an unforgiving world... I love challenging prejudices,” she said.
Ms Pistolas believes her profession is like any other; she uses her body to work, in the same way that people use parts of their body, like their hands or feet, to perform their work.
But she said the difference is that she earns a much higher salary than others who work in lower-paid sectors.
Ms Pistolas refers to her work in glowing terms and insists on challenging the stereotype “...that all women who are in sex work are in danger, on drugs, surrounded by alcohol and working while drunk".
I chose this and I like it. And I don't need anyone to save me. And that narrative of women who must be saved is archaic. It doesn't go with the times.Romina Pistolas, author of the book 'Carmen'.
“Life is not a movie... It's much more real and much more normal, and the people who go to these places [strip clubs] are people who sometimes need to have a little company,” she said.
'My parents support my choice to be a stripper'
Although she hid her job from her family during the first seven years of working in nightclubs in Australia “...out of fear that they might judge or be ashamed [of her],” she explained that she now enjoys the support of her parents.
“It's been difficult [for them] to have to defend my decisions and my choice of work,” she said, adding that the most important thing to them is that she embraces the values they taught her in order to be happy, live truthfully and be honest.
Ms Pistolas said she feels “very happy and proud” of the reviews that her book has received in the short time it has been on the market.
“The reviews have been overwhelmingly positive, and the fact that it has generated dialogue [about sex work] is super important to me,” she said.
Romina Pistolas says she's proud of her autobiographical account of working as a stripper in Australia.
*surname changed to protect privacy
To listen to the interview with Romina Pistolas, click the arrow on the play button below the title of this article.
