How often have we heard phrases such as “boys will be boys” or “it’s OK, he just did it because he likes you”, about disrespectful or aggressive behaviour towards girls or women?
Experts say, although these phrases seem harmless on the surface, we are in fact unknowingly normalising aggression as something that is inherent in boys or something that is provoked by girls.
Not all forms of disrespect lead to violence, but all violence against women starts with disrespectful behaviour. We can put an end to this cycle by stopping it at the start.
“Stop it at the start” is a national campaign to break the cycle of all gender-based violence.
The campaign recognises that young people’s behaviours are influenced and shaped by adults, carers, and influencers around them.
Dr Rosina McAlpine is a parenting expert and the author of Inspired Children. She says excuses such as “boys will be boys” can shape young people’s views about what is OK and justifies disrespectful behaviour in young people.
Having grown up in a home where violence had been passed down from her grandfather to her father, Dr McAlpine has experienced the cycle of violence herself.
“Our father was from a generation where they believed that discipline, corporal punishment was the way to raise good kids. At home our punishment could include my father’s belt, it could include even thin branch off a tree to be used. Sometimes, just a heavy hand. Sometimes, we would need to wear clothing to hide the bruises.”
Dr McAlpine says, it is never too early or too late to talk to your children about respect.
So, let's educate our children about respectful behaviour. By recognising the cycle of violence, we can stop it at the start, and become positive role models.
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual harassment or assault, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit . In an emergency, call 000.