Key Points
- Fariman fled Iran a decade ago after being persecuted as a trans man.
- Now in Australia, he stands in solidarity with the protesters in his homeland demanding regime change.
- 'Women’s rights are the gateway to LBGTQI+ rights,' says Fariman.
Ten years ago, Fariman* "escaped" from Iran and his defined gender.
Now, in the midst of mass protests in his homeland, the 29-year-old dreams of exchanging the freedoms he found in Australia for life as a trans man back in Iran.
From childhood, Fariman said he felt like a boy, and like other children, he didn’t care what society thought.
“In our home, everything was fine. I identified as a boy, I wore male clothes, played football all the time, and hung out with other boys in the neighbourhood. I was just like my brother,” he told SBS Persian.
'Kept my true identity in the backpack'
However, things changed drastically once he began attending school.
In Iran, schools are segregated by sex: male and female.
Separated from his brother, Fariman was sent to a girls' school.
“That was my first encounter with a gender-separated society,” he said.
“I was despondent. I didn’t have a friend because everyone thought I was weird. Even school principals asked my mother to take me to a psychologist. One of them diagnosed me as bipolar.
"I was angry with society and felt there was no place for me. I was full of self-hatred and anxiety."
Fariman remembers always carrying a backpack containing male clothes.
Fariman in Melbourne/ Credit: Niv Sadr
It wasn't until years later in high school that a classmate introduced Fariman to a word that changed everything.
As a teenager, I always thought something was wrong with me. But then I learned the word ‘transgender'. After Googling it, I felt relieved. I understood that I was normal.
While there are no official statistics on the size of the trans population in Iran, the number is estimated to be around 24,000, according to Farshid Masoudi, the Head of the Transgender Support Society, in an interview with Shargh Daily in 2019.
The Iranian government also considers transgender identity to be a mental disorder, and only trans people if they undergo sex reassignment surgery.
'Please wear your hijab, lady'
As a teenager, Fariman decided to undergo the surgeries that would allow him to live the rest of his life in his desired body.
However, as he was to find, the process in Iran is full of obstacles.
First, he had to receive counselling to ensure he had gender dysphoria. Then, further medical tests were required.
It's been reported that therapists in Iran have forced trans people into undergoing electric shock treatment.
In January 2016, the UN Committee on the Rights of the Child reported that LGBTIQ+ children are subjected to electro shock, hormones and strong psychoactive medications in Iran.
After successfully navigating these steps, Fariman had to go to court, where it was left to a judge to decide if he was allowed to have surgery.
For Fariman, who began the process when he was 18, this is where things came unstuck.
“There was a Muslim cleric in the court, and without even looking at me, he said, ‘Please wear your hijab, lady’. After that, he told me I could not undergo surgery, since I didn't have my mother's permission,” he said.
Regardless of age, trans people need their parent’s permission for surgery. And Fariman's mother had only promised to give her approval if he graduated from university first.
'That’s why I left Iran'
University was another traumatising experience.
During that period, Fariman was arrested three times by the Islamic Republic morality police.
“One time, the morality police undressed me and started touching my body. I had only two options, accept the sexual harassment or go to jail."
One day, university security found out he was in a relationship with a girl, and he was expelled.
He said no one would rent him an apartment to live in, and his employers sexually harassed him.
Fariman in Tehran metro in 2014/ Credit: Supplied
That’s when he decided to leave Iran for Turkey as a refugee, like many in Iran's LGBTQI+ community had done.
“You cannot study, work, love. What else is there to do? That’s why I left Iran,” he said
A 2021 published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research in Iran shows that 70 per cent of transgender participants had experienced suicidal ideation.
In Turkey, where he lived for more than seven years, Fariman had gender affirmation surgery and met his partner, Mona.
'A smile at the airport'
On 27 January, 2022, Fariman and his partner arrived in Australia.
Fariman saw it as an opportunity to start life again in a new country and with a new body.
Fariman and his partner in Melbourne in 2022/ Credit: Niv Sadr
“From the officer’s smile at the airport, I understood that Australia is different,” he said.
“But because of my trauma, I expect something to go wrong every day. Whenever I see a police officer, I’m afraid. I must remind myself that I’m not in Iran anymore.”
As a consequence of his experiences, Fariman said he still struggles in day-to-day life.
“For example, in my workplace, I still cannot express myself even though I’m sure there are no consequences. The trauma I experienced doesn’t let me explain myself freely.”
'I feel like an Iranian woman shouting for freedom'
While today, Fariman enjoys great freedoms in Australia, people in Iran are protesting the Islamic Republic regime with chants of “Woman, Life, Freedom” ringing out in the streets.
These protests began on 16 September, after the death of Mahsa 'Jina' Amini while under the custody of Iran's morality police.
In the three months since, many Iranian people at home and abroad have been calling for regime change.
Fariman is one of them.
I understand every pain that Iranian women suffer because I had to live with a woman’s body in Iran. Nowadays, I feel like an Iranian woman shouting for freedom.
“Women’s rights are the gateway to LBGTQI+ rights. If women cannot choose what to wear, how can someone else even disclose their sexual identity and orientation?”
Fariman in Melbourne in 2022/ Credit: Niv Sadr
Despite his traumatising experiences in Iran, Fariman is still hopeful for progress.
“Yes, I am angry with my friends, classmates, colleagues and the society in Iran. However, it’s not their fault that they’ve grown up with some homophobic beliefs.
"The government presented us as a sick-minded community, and it is to blame.”
He dreams of a revolution in Iran, one that would allow him to live freely.
What does all this mean if I cannot share it with my mother and friends? I am too attached to enjoy my freedom in Australia. The only way to enjoy it is to erase my memory.
Fariman and Mona/ Credit: Niv Sadr
However, he hasn’t seen his mother in all these years.
“My dream is simple, visiting my childhood home and hugging my mother."
*Last name withheld for privacy reasons.
