Key Points
- Kane and Kotfe quit their jobs as a firefighter and police officer respectively to be openly gay.
- Japan remains the only country in the G7 yet to legalise same-sex marriage.
- Around 50 people from Japan will be travelling to Australia to parade in this year's Mardi Gras.
Kaneshige 'Kane' Hirata, a former firefighter, and Kohei 'Kotfe' Katsuyama, a former police officer, have been in a committed relationship for the past 12 years, living together in Japan for most of this time.
However, the couple is unable to tie the knot legally, as Japan remains the only country in the G7 yet to legalise same-sex marriage.
"We've been together for so long, but by law, we're considered to be strangers," Kotfe tells SBS Japanese.
They're among 50 people travelling from Japan to parade in this year's Mardi Gras, advocating for LGBTQIA+ rights and diversity in their country.
Kane and Kotfe at Tokyo Rainbow Pride in 2023. Credit: Kane and Kotfe
Growing up amidst his family's prejudiced views towards gay people, Kotfe says he felt compelled to keep his sexuality hidden.
"I just felt that it was wrong to be attracted to the same sex," he says.
The 41-year-old is yet to come out to his family and says he remains estranged from them.
While Kotfe came out to his best friend when he was 19 years old, he says he continued "living a lie", hiding behind a mask of a well-respected police officer.
I always feared that if they [workplace] found out I was gay, it would be 'game over'.Kohei 'Kotfe' Katsuyama
Kane, on the other hand, realised his sexuality later in life, in his early 20s, just before embarking on his career as a firefighter.
Working in a male-dominated field made self-acceptance even more challenging, Kane says.
"I just tried to turn a blind eye to the situation," he says.
It was only recently that the now 37-year-old came out to his family.
The couple had different journeys to self-acceptance and met through a dating site for gay people. Credit: Kane and Kotfe
However, while their personal lives blossomed, they say their persistent fear of being "found out" by their workplaces eventually took a toll.
"I constantly pondered, 'Will it result in unreasonable transfer? Will it affect my promotion? Will colleagues look at me in a discriminatory manner?'" Kotfe says.
He says the stress of the situation culminated with him collapsing at work and being later diagnosed with adjustment disorder, while Kane says he experienced panic attacks involving hyperventilation episodes.
The couple both resigned from their jobs in 2021 and relocated to Tokyo to start a new life, to be openly gay and advocate for their community.
I didn't want to lie to myself for the rest of my life.Kotfe
Kane says the move opened up new horizons, meeting people who understood him.
It's changed my life 180 degrees and my way of thinking.Kaneshige 'Kane' Hirata
Shortly after, the couple obtained their partnership certificate, an official document that proves their relationship and gives same-sex couples some of the rights that married couples enjoy.
According to , since its introduction in 2015, more than 390 municipalities have the partnership system in place.
In 2021, the pair obtained their partnership certificate. Credit: Kane and Kotfe
Kane and Kotfe have been actively advocating for LGBTQIA+ rights since becoming openly gay, through their and visits to schools.
They held a "mock" wedding back in November 2022 as part of an event advocating for marriage equality.
"We're so in love, why can't we get married?" asks Kotfe.
The couple will lead the Japanese float dubbed "Colourful Change Lab" at this year's Sydney Mardi Gras, dressed in traditional wedding attire.
The float will resemble a traditional Japanese shrine wedding, which they hope will one day become a reality.
A lesson for Japan: how Australia embraces diversity
Nobuhisa Miura is the representative director of not-for-profit Colourful Change Lab, an organisation behind Kyushu's annual Rainbow Pride celebration.
Representative director of Colourful Change Lab, Nobuhisa Miura. Credit: Nobuhisa Miura
But Miura says it's not just about enjoying the glitz and glamour of the parade, it's about experiencing how diversity is embraced in Australia.
"We're visiting NSW government facilities, universities and companies to see how diversity and inclusion is done, how it is integrated into people's everyday lives," he says.
When Miura first visited Sydney in 2019, he says he was shocked to see an elderly gay couple at the park going about their daily lives, unbothered by the presence of others, including families with children.
"My partner and I have never been able to do that in Japan, even today," Miura says.
"It was an eye-opening experience," he adds.
Miura, who was already actively advocating for LGBTQIA+ rights then, says he realised the importance of allowing people in Japan to experience this firsthand.
"We must experience it firsthand before putting it into practice," he says.
Support from Australia
The LGBTQIA+ communities of Japan were deeply moved by the inclusion of a Japanese float in the 2022 Mardi Gras, Miura says.
"We felt a sense of reassurance seeing the Japanese community of Australia standing up and (advocating) for marriage equality," he says.
The Gender Free Japanese group, led by couple Koki and Ayaka, has gained attention both domestically and internationally since its debut in 2022.
Koki says their group is now shifting towards finding more local voices to raise awareness of what is happening in Japan.
"I feel that it is very important to find people who can speak up and work together to make Japan a better place to live in the future," he says.
When I tell people that same-sex marriage is not recognised in Japan, I am often shocked to find out how many people are actually unaware of this.Koki
Organisers of the Japanese float for the 2022 Mardi Gras parade, Ayaka (L) and Koki (R). Credit: Toboji
"I hope this opportunity will be a chance for people to become more familiar with us, and, in turn, bring change to Japan little by little," Koki says.
The 46th Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade will be held on 2 March, with the 2024 festival theme of "Our Future".
The two Japanese floats will advocate for a better future in Japan, calling for LGBTQIA+ rights and diversity.
