KEY POINTS
- Gabs, Homeboy G or Rudy V (as he is known on stage) is a performing artist, sound producer, living and working in Melbourne. He uses music as a tool for therapy and a reconnection to self and community.
- Rudy moved to Australia at the age of 2 after being adopted by an Australian couple. Driven by a deep desire to meet his birth parents, especially his mother, he remains on a persistent quest to reconnect with his biological family.
- According to the United Nations Children’s Rights & Emergency Relief Organisation, approximately 1.8 million children in the Philippines, over 1% of the total population, are considered “abandoned or neglected."
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
‘We will see each other one day’: A rapper's lifelong journey to reconnect with his birth parents
SBS Filipino
15/08/202429:45
Uncovering the truth about his identity
At just 2 years old, Rudy found himself in Melbourne, thousands of miles away from his birthplace, with a new family he would come to know as mum and dad.
“I remember my first memory of arriving in Melbourne,” Rudy recalls. “It’s like I already knew something was different. My parents never told me I was adopted. I just found out on my own.”
As a curious child, Rudy stumbled upon the truth in a filing cabinet.
I was about 6 or 7 years old when I found a big file with my name, Gabriel Collie, on it. The first page had my birth name, Rudy Villanueva, and listed my birth parents: Francisco Villanueva and Estelita Diaz. It all made sense then.
Growing up in Melbourne, Rudy found himself caught between two worlds. He had Filipino cousins through marriage from his adoptive parents' family and attended Filipino community events where he met other adopted Filipino children. Yet, despite these connections, a sense of displacement lingered.
“I knew my family was a different colour, but when I saw the Filipino side, I felt like I belonged there too. I didn’t choose it, but I think I was mentally colonised to think the Australian way.”
This internal conflict sparked an ongoing journey of self-discovery, one that Rudy admits is still evolving.
One person said to me that the hardest thing in life is to know yourself. I didn’t understand it at first, but now it makes sense. I’m still trying to find myself.
Music and tattoo saved his life
Music became a crucial part of Rudy's journey. Inspired by his cousin Mark, who played the guitar, he found an outlet for his emotions and experiences through acoustic hip-hop. His music tells the story of his life, his struggles, and his observations of the world around him.
“My songs are about my journey, what’s happening around the world, and the community right now. I try to put a positive spin on things.”
But Rudy’s talents don’t end with music. He’s also an apprentice tattoo artist, a path he took after being given an unexpected opportunity.
Music and inking saved my life. When I got asked to do an apprenticeship, I quit my job the next day. I took the risk, and now I’m learning to draw again. It’s like starting from scratch, but it’s worth it.
Rudy’s talents don’t end with music. He’s also an apprentice tattoo artist.
The search goes on for family, forgiveness and identity
As for his adoptive parents, Rudy holds no resentment.
“I put myself in their shoes. How would I even tell my own child that they’re adopted? That’s hard. It hurts to even remember saying that I was angry with them. But family is family— you’re going to have ups and downs. They’re my mum and dad, but I do have a birth mum and father. I’m looking more for my mother. That connection runs deep.”
Rudy’s journey to find his birth parents continues, driven by a need to understand where he comes from and to reconnect with the roots that were severed so early in life.
They’re always on my mind, but it’s not stopping me from pursuing my dreams. My mission is to keep trying and know that I did try. Whether I find them or not, I know I’m going to find something. We will see each other one day.
Rudy expresses a mix of empathy and uncertainty towards his birth parents. He tries to understand the situation from their perspective, acknowledging that his birth mother may not have had the mental or financial capacity to care for him, which led to the decision to give him up for adoption.
“I try to put myself in their shoes. From what I’ve gathered from the Filipino community, my birth mother didn’t have the capacity to look after a child, so signing the papers was the best option.”
His search for the truth has been anything but straightforward.
To be honest, I don’t even know if the woman they told me about is my real birth mum. They said that they found me in a tricycle, then they found the birth mother, but she denied it. So, in the end, I’m not sure if the community knew or if they just wanted to sign me off and get me adopted.
And the mystery surrounding his birth father adds another layer of complexity.
“The birth father is not to be found. In my head, I’m presuming he ran away and didn’t support my mum. But for me growing up, I wasn’t really looking for my dad- it was all about finding Mama.”
According to the United Nations Children’s Rights & Emergency Relief Organisation, approximately 1.8 million children in the Philippines, over 1% of the total population, are considered “abandoned or neglected."
Rudy’s quest to reconnect with his roots is deeply personal, driven by a longing to understand where he comes from and to find the mother who gave him life, even as the details remain elusive.
While his journey to find his biological family continues, he remains focused on living a positive life.
Tugtugan at Kwentuhan features the story of artists and talents who are making their own mark in the music and arts industry.
