Her heart in her throat. A tremble in her voice. A struggle for breath. An emptiness. Mother's Day is a difficult time of the year for Grace Guinto. It's been that way for five years.
"We lost our mum to cancer," she shares, adding, "she had come to visit me in [Los Angeles] when I was still living there and, woke up with what we thought was the onset of a heart attack. But [her symptoms led to] what she eventually got diagnosed with - gall bladder cancer."
It was such a short span of time from her mum Corazon's diagnosis to her passing that Grace was left unable to fully wrap her head around the disease, much less grapple with the loss.
"Being the ate, the older sister in the family, a lot was on me to try to navigate through the uncertainty of her having cancer and life without her," she shares.
But while Grace felt the weight of steering the family through the grief and the devastation, she sensed a pull to pay tribute to the mum she lost and ached for - her Corazon, her heart.
"Being the ate, the older sister in the family, a lot was on me to try to navigate through the uncertainty of her having cancer and life without her." Source: Grace Guinto
With Instagram as an avenue, Grace created her first account entitled 'Corazon's Kitchen Chronicles', which became a visual representation of all the dishes her mum used to cook that she missed, a homage to Corazon who instilled in her pride for their Filipino heritage.
"The first imagery [is] an image of my mother laughing outside in her dirty kitchen which many Filipino households in Australia may have. It’s a kitchen where we cook our tuyo [dried fish] and all other items that kind of smell when we cook it. I think [it was] when I came to visit her from my time in the States and I asked Ma, I'm really craving your ukoy [vegetable and prawn fritters]. When I captured that moment with her, I never thought that would end up being such an inspiring moment of my life."
A moment captured evolved into 'Corazon's Kitchen Chronicles' which then turned into 'Sweet Cora', a small business Grace owns which is inspired by her mum and, which revolves around her own love for family and sweet treats.
"When I captured that moment with her, I never thought that would end up being such an inspiring moment of my life." Source: Grace Guinto
Through her endeavours, Grace is able to relive her mum's assurances when she lived far from home.
"[She would always say] don’t worry. I'm only a phone call or email away," Grace shares, adding "if you need a reminder from me, just cook the recipes that I taught you at the time you were still with me."
When Grace isn't in the kitchen, she finds solace in seven words her mum left with them after she passed.
"She had a little book that she took to chemo where she would write down her thoughts. One of the sentences [she wrote down on a piece of paper] was 'Life isn't fair but it’s still good.' When I think about that, it’s everything that she taught me," she shares, adding, "You know, life is still good. It may not be fair, but it's still good. We're still here."
And while Corazon may no longer be physically here, her memory lives on in the handwritten recipes she's handed down to her children, in her three grandchildren which includes her 2-year old granddaughter Stella Cora who was named in her memory.
Corazon lives on in the handwritten recipes she left her children. Source: Grace Guinto
"Every time I cook in the kitchen with her now, it evokes the happiness and memories I shared with my mother. What was lost in her passing has now been resurrected in the new experiences I’m able to enjoy with my daughter in the kitchen," she shares.
The kitchen continues to feel somewhat empty, but Grace pushes on. The pain will ease, a little bit each passing Mother's Day. Grief will change, but the feeling of loss will never go away - a lingering reminder of the love and legacy that lives on.
"One of the sentences [she wrote in her book] was: Life is unfair, but it's still good." Source: Grace Guinto
"I’m so thankful that I have this opportunity to just tell people how awesome my mum was. In everything that I do, it’s all for her. She’s inspired me in life and in death," she shares, adding, "I do hope that everyone who is lucky enough to have their mother here, to take that moment to thank her and give her the massive hug she deserves."
ALSO READ
READ MORE
Where meals and memories are made
