Key Points
- Mar Nur is a proud Muslim and member of the LGBTQIA+ community.
- Nur continues to practise his Islamic faith while living in Australia.
- He says the teachings of queer Islamic scholars such as Muhsin Hendricks had helped him come to terms with his own sexuality.
Listen to the podcast
‘Queer at Muslim:’ Paano hinaharap ng Pinoy Queenslander ang kanyang relihiyon at sekswalidad
SBS Filipino
04/04/202413:46
"My family know who I am. Although they don't agree with my lifestyle, they do accept me. They've stopped expecting me to bring home a Muslim bride, which is a big relief," Mar Nur told SBS Filipino.
Nur said he took pride in both being a Maguindanaoan Muslim and member of the LGBTQIA+ community.
Mar Nur and his parents Credit: Mar Nur
Memories of Maguindanao
Nur was born and raised in Maguindanao, a province located in the Bangsamoro Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao (BARMM).
Growing up Muslim himself, Nur recalled what it meant to be part of a prominent religious and political family in the Islamic community.
Before my father passed away, he had built two mosques - one in our village and one at our farm.Mar Nur
"I used to go to the Nur Mosque in the village every Friday when I was younger. My siblings still go there all the time to pray five times a day," he said.
"Of course, Ramadan has always been important for us too. I remember waking up at 3am even as a young child, eating and praying with my family."
Tired of being the 'talk of the town'
Nur shared that aside from strict religiosity and politics, his family was also known for pursuing higher education.
Mar Nur shared that he had been bullied for his sexuality as a child growing up in The Philippines. Credit: Mar Nur
It's such an [antiquated] stereotype, but back then ... because they knew I was gay, they thought the only job I could get was that of a hairdresser.Mar Nur
The fear his parents had and his desire for a life outside of Maguindanao pushed him to look elsewhere to live, he said.
"When I was younger, I would get bullied for being who I was. I would fight back, but it got to be too much that I became an introvert. I decided to be more 'macho'," he said.
"Being queer was considered immoral, and I wanted to protect my family from being the talk of the town.
"I felt like I didn't belong and I knew deep in my heart that I would never be able to achieve my full potential if I stayed there. I needed to get out."
For Nur, the way out was that which his family prided themselves on - the pursuit of a higher education.
"In 1997, when I was 19, I got a scholarship to study in Australia. I became the first Maguindanaon in our area to study abroad." Credit: Mar Nur
Filipino, Australian and Muslim
After his studies, Nur said he found work, love and life in Australia.
While he admitted that he felt freer to express his queerness in Australia, he said that the Islamic traditions he learned back home continued to be important in his life.
"I'm still very strict with what I eat. I try to buy halal when I can, and I don't eat pork," he said.
"I continue to do my Friday prayers. I join in Iftar prayers at the West End Mosque. Although I don't know anyone, I feel a strong sense of belonging when I'm there.
Ramadan continues to be very important to me. It teaches me self-discipline, empathy and spiritual awareness. It gives me a chance to reset and reflect on everything I do.Mar Nur
"It's also a time for generosity and alms-giving. Most of the donations I make at this time go back to my community in The Philippines."
Mar Nur with his Islamic community at his parents' home in Maguindanao. Credit: Mar Nur
'Haram'
Although Nur said he continued to be steadfast in his faith, he admitted,
Currently, there are , including Muslim-majority countries such as Kuwait, Nigeria, Indonesia and Morocco.
Muslim scholar and imam Sheikh Hafiz Homam, who also belongs to the Australian National Imams Council (ANIC), is one who adheres to traditional beliefs about homosexuality.
Homosexuality is clearly 'haram' [an act that is forbidden by Allah] and prohibited in Quran.Sheikh Hafiz Homam, Muslim scholar and imam
Homam shared, "The Qur’ān mentions sex between men several times, almost all of them in the context of the story of Sodom.
"As an example in Surah Al-A’raf prophet Lut says to his people: 'Lot told his people, 'Why do you commit such indecent acts that have never been committed by anyone before? (80) ... You engage in lustful activities with people instead of women. You have become transgressing people. (81).'"
ANIC has been firm in its stance against homosexuality, with the group stating, "Homosexuality is a forbidden action; a major sin and anyone who partakes in it is considered a disobediant servant to Allah that will acquire His displeasure and disapproval."
Queer scholars
On the other hand, Nur says he is able to come to terms with his queerness because his belief in an accepting God.
"I believe that God is kind, generous and accepting," he said.
"I make sense of things by looking for alternative interpretations of the Quran. There are many queer scholars out there that we can turn to, such as Muhsin Hendricks."
Mar Nur feels that he is able to be more himself in Australia. Credit: Mar Nur
According to Hendricks, there is nothing in the Quran that castigates homosexuality. He believes that the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, which is widely believed to be about the vilification of homosexuality, is actually about the condemnation of rape.
Nur shared that scholars such as Hendricks had helped him to have a healthier and more positive relationship with his sexuality and religion.
"Queer Muslims struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, rejection and isolation; but if we really look at the Quran - there's nothing in there about how modern society classifies human sexuality," he said.
It's important to recognise that silence does not automatically mean condemnation.Mar Nur
"Just like the Bible, we also have to realise that the Quran was written thousands of years ago. Interpretations were made long ago and are no longer relevant today.
