Key Points
- Etiquette rules are strict for business parties, yet social gatherings also entail cultural expectations for both hosts and guests.
- In Australia, it's customary to bring a small gift when visiting someone's home, emphasising thoughtfulness toward the host rather than extravagant spending.
- Children's parties adhere to a distinct set of cultural expectations, which includes the practice of giving token gifts to the young guests.
Children’s birthdays, housewarmings, and dinner parties are among the most common celebratory gatherings for Australians.
But organising a home get-together often requires no more than choosing the right moment.
The quintessential Aussie gathering, colloquially known as ‘barbie’, usually occurs on a public holiday or over the weekend.
When attending a business event, Ms Hardy advises against overstaying your welcome or keep partying till the early morning. Credit: xavierarnau/Getty Images
“It generally involves a barbecue outside, and a group of people around. It's casual, it's relaxed, it's very informal,” Ms Hardy says.
However, this is not the case for any business event, like the typical Christmas party.
Remember it is still business, not a social event. Really watch your alcoholic consumption, particularly if it does affect you. Even your attire, it should be something that is appropriate. So, no super short dresses, or low-cut crocs, or shirts hanging out.Zarife Hardy
She adds that professionalism throughout the event includes engaging in conversations respectfully, including not speaking poorly of colleagues and your boss.
Regarding house parties, no matter how casual, etiquette remains important for the host and guests.
“First and foremost, you've got to decide who you're inviting, so choosing a group of people that mix well,” Ms Hardy suggests.
Preparation is also key for the host to ensure that every person invited feels comfortable.
“Just make sure that when your guests get there, you can dedicate time to them, so you're not stuck in a kitchen or making things or setting tables," she adds.
To have that, you know, drink ready to be poured, to give them a wonderful, warm hello, to be able to mix in conversations and introduce people together.Zarife Hardy
For visitors, arriving empty-handed at someone’s home is not recommended unless you are direct family.
Sam Sharma, founder and CEO of Overseas Students Australia, says it’s considered polite to bring a little gift for the host when invited to their home, like a bottle of wine, a snack, or sweets.
“It's also a good idea to ask the host, if they would like you to bring specific things that might help them to organise their party. Because they are already hosting it, so that's a big enough job and you might make it easier for them by bringing some of those things,” Mr Sharma explains.
If there is leftover food that remains intact at the end of a house party, you might be offered to take some home in a container. But leave it up to the host to suggest this. Source: Moment RF / Sergey Mironov/Getty Images
“In Australia, arriving on time is very important for the party. Don't be too late, otherwise, you'll miss out [on] all the food! That could possibly happen,” Mr Sharma adds.
Providing some hands-on support to the host is optional but nice.
“If you can help the host with the cooking, with setting up, even cleaning, if you can do that, that's always appreciated. And always thank them before leaving.”
As an international student, Mr Sharma arrived in Australia 17 years ago and learned the slang terminologies associated with the Australian way of partying from scratch.
He shares some of the basics:
- Bubbles = sparkling wine
- BYO = Bring Your Own [drink]
- snag = sausage
- bring a plate = invitation for guests to bring some food to share
"If you have food allergies or dietary requirements, it is good practice to advise beforehand or even better to bring a dish that would cover your needs," Mr Sharma says.
“In the RSVP, people may ask you if you have any allergies or if you have certain requests, like vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, so let them know nice and early."
“Otherwise, what I usually do, because of being a vegetarian myself, I bring along those things. I attended so many events now, so I know that sometimes the host actually feels bad if they haven't got those things for you," Mr Sharma explains.
For a birthday party held at a venue, it is customary for each guest to pay for their meal, unless otherwise offered by the host, Mr Sharma says. Credit: Thomas Barwick/Getty Images
Parties for the little ones
Typically, the host is solely responsible for managing food arrangements at children’s parties.
Sonja Herzberg, a mother of two from Melbourne, provides an overview of common expectations.
“You are expected to provide food for both the children and the adults. Definitely ask for dietaries because it's so rampant these days, it's crazy. So, you will generally provide something in the food that can cover all dietaries, and you'll have signage out."
“It's also not frowned upon, for the host to provide a celebratory beverage, so like sparkling wine and for anyone who's pregnant or cannot drink some sparkling juices,” Ms Herzberg says.
Carers are responsible for supervising their children who are guests at a kid’s birthday party. Credit: Jason Edwards/Getty Images
Ms Herzberg suggests that there are typical Australian offerings suitable for a kids' party that are budget-friendly.
“You can just have fairy bread, or you can go the other extreme and hire catering. It's varied, and I’ve not experienced that anybody minds what you provide.
“Fairy bread is an Australian tradition. It is 100s’ and 1000s’, which are those sprinkles that are put on buttered white bread and the bread is cut into diamond shapes. Otherwise, party pies are also very traditionally Australian,” Ms Herzberg says.
It's also common for the host parent to prepare ‘party bags’ with small gifts that children guests can take home with them.
Ms Hardy from the Australian School of Etiquette advises against bringing expensive gifts at a kids’ party. “You do not need to be showing status or proving anything by buying ridiculously priced gifts.” Credit: Nick Bowers/Getty Images
Ms Herzberg explains what she is preparing for her five-year-old son’s birthday.
“We have bought a little miniature magnifying glasses, a colourful wooden pencil, and a blank card that they can write in themselves, and little stickers that you can make your own faces."
So, it's like a little crafty thing they can take home and do and then they'll remember the party. And of course, there's always something like a little sweet inside as well when they’re past the age of three.Sonja Herzberg
Similarly, she notes that the thought counts, not the birthday present's value.
“For the child celebrating, it's not about what they get, but the fact that they get to enjoy this birthday doing their favourite things with their friends. And if they got presents great, but they won’t remember what the present is. What they do remember is the experience," Ms Herzberg concludes.
