Kerry was assigned female at birth but remembers his childhood as feeling like a boy.
He thought his tone of speech, interests and even appearance were all at odds with society’s expectations of him.
“When I was a kid, I tried to go to the boy’s bathroom,” he tells SBS Chinese, recalling his friendless childhood growing up in Hong Kong and a time of utter confusion.
Kerry tended to keep to himself, even while he attended high school in Australia, to avoid being the subject of gossip.
He slowly gained acceptance and belonging while studying at university where he met others just like him.
They made Kerry aware of help available for transgender people, which prompted him to begin four years of “masculinising” hormone treatment to affect fat redistribution, body and facial hair growth, and to lower the pitch of his voice.
Kerry at a previous Mardi Gras event. Source: Supplied
When Kerry’s parents returned to Hong Kong for a holiday in 2016, he underwent reconstructive chest surgery to flatten his breast tissue without telling them.
He remembers going swimming with his mother upon her return to Australia.
When he removed his top clothing, it finally dawned on her what her child had dreamed of all his life.
Before and after gender reassignment surgery
Kerry’s mother spent years pleading with him to wear more “beautiful” clothing and reminding him how short he looked dressed as a man.
But after many uncomfortable years of chest binding to achieve the appearance of a flat chest, Kerry says his mother has finally come to terms with who he is.
“She can see that I’m more cheerful and more comfortable with my body than before,” he said.
Kerry at the end of a bike ride. Source: Supplied
“I don’t menstruate and it’s more convenient to go to the beach now because there’s no need to bind my breasts.”
Kerry’s father was initially hesitant about his son receiving hormonal treatment and wanting to go under the knife.
Post-surgery, he says: “We don’t speak about it specifically. I think he has become used to the idea.
After all, there’s nothing they can do. The surgery has been done. Hormonal therapy has been an accepted form of treatment for many years and there’s no turning back to the way I was before.
Kerry had a hysterectomy performed to remove his uterus and ovaries in 2018.
Due to its “high-risk” and expense, he has steered clear of phalloplasty, a procedure that surgically creates a penis from existing tissue.
The surgery is performed in Australia by very few surgeons and can cost between $50,000 and $80,000 out of pocket.
While Medicare does offer rebates for some gender-affirming surgeries in Australia, it does not subsidise “cosmetic” surgical procedures.
Changing gender identity in Hong Kong problematic
Hong Kong does not allow trans people to have their gender officially recognised on their identity documents unless they undergo full sex reassignment surgery.
Residents are currently assigned male or female on their ID cards depending on the sex at birth.
Campaigners have criticised Hong Kong for lagging behind issues on LGBTQI+ rights amid a recent court ruling that rejected two transgender men who challenged the island’s policy of only allowing people to officially change their gender after having surgery.
Kerry at a recent rally supporting trans youth. Source: Supplied
Kerry has also been wanting to change his sex entry on his Hong Kong ID card and doesn’t agree with the January ruling.
“If I go back to Hong Kong using my current ID card, I think authorities will have a hard time believing I’m the person in the photo,” he said.
Although Kerry says there’s still a long way to go in improving the rights and recognition of LGBTQ+I people Down Under, not returning to Hong Kong is the easier option for now.
“It would be so difficult to find a job and generally, it would be so difficult to live [there],” he said.
Coming out as gay during COVID-19Image
Living in Canberra has helped international student Vincent Li from Dalian, north-east mainland China, to come out as gay.
Mr Li arrived in Australia’s capital to complete years 11 and 12 and now he is studying a Masters in IT at the University of Canberra.
Vincent said while he had recently felt he was ready to come out to his overseas-based parents, the process has been prolonged due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
“My parents are more open-minded. But if I want to discuss this issue, I think it’s best I talk to them face-to-face,” he said.
COVID-19 coupled with mainland China’s strict and lengthy quarantine measures have prevented Vincent from returning to see his parents.
As someone who “talks to his parents about everything”, he says he’s keen to make the trip home as soon as possible.
After I come out, I’d want to be together with them for a month so that we can digest what this means together.
He’s among the growing cohort of LGBTIQ+ children who are finding greater acceptance from Chinese parents in a country where LGBTIQ+ individuals were once condemned and even classified as having a mental illness.
“China has a patriarchal society which considers homosexual relationships and anything out of the norm to be wrong. This idea needs to change,” he says.
The more progressive parents
While many LGBTIQ+ people still struggle to find family acceptance, Vincent says he is thankful his parents are less traditional than most.
“My mum works in the health industry, so I’d expect her to be more open about this issue,” he said.
Vincent says his dad comes from the countryside and is “more conservative”.
But in recent years the two have had frank discussions about societal development, politics and human rights.
He says those conversations have even touched on topics that include marriage equality and LGBTIQ+ rights.
“My parents seem to be a little more neutral on this matter,” he said.
A queer voice for international students and people of colour
Even though Vincent knew he was gay since puberty, he spent many years not acknowledging it and had a hard time as a young person coming to terms with his sexual orientation.
But in Canberra during his undergraduate degree, welcoming friends from an Australian National University off-campus student association helped Vincent come out and foster the courage to be openly gay.
He’s gone on to become the Queer Officer of the ANU Students’ Association – the first international student to hold the post.
“It’s my responsibility to take on such a role because not all international students have the opportunity or experience to do such a thing,” he said.
Covid-19 has made coming out harder for Vincent Li. Source: Supplied
Outside of formal studies, Vincent continues his advocacy work for greater LGBTIQ+ rights and says he hopes Australia embraces better inclusion of queer and trans people of colour (QTPOCs) as well as queer Asians.
Early stigmatisation from family
Mayna Hung remembers media representation of LGBTIQ+ people growing up in Hong Kong being negative, a reason why she thinks “being gay” is met with heightened stigma among some “conservative” members of her family.
“The idea was very foreign to them,” she said.
“Some artists and singers are openly gay but people just don’t talk about it. They don’t treat them as normal human beings.”
The 25-year-old says she still carries the trauma of her family experience in Australia, where she moved to a decade ago to continue her education.
During high school nobody she knew liked girls, she said.
Everyone around me at the time were dating guys. I had a hard time blending in.
Mayna says she wishes social media had been around when she was a teenager so she could have better expressed herself and felt a stronger sense of belonging.
“[These days] what I’ve observed on social media is that groups and communities are emerging to help young people understand their identity,” she said.
While in mainland China, where Mayna’s partner of six years is from, discussions around LGBTIQ+ people, gender fluidity, feminism and female sexuality are increasingly censored to the same degree as political dissent.
Mayna says while these moves will have a significant impact on the affected groups, they won’t stop people fighting for their rights.
Sydneysider Mayna Hung has found it easier coming out to family in Hong Kong. Source: Supplied
“It was very unfortunate they decided to do this, but this won’t stop activism in China. There are still people trying to advocate and support LGBTIQ+ people there.”
The gradual acceptance among Chinese families
Mayna came out at 15 following a crush on her female best friend.
She first told her cousin, before sharing the news with other more “open-minded” members of her extended family.
To date, she’s kept the information from her mother, a divorced single parent.
In Mayna’s case, she finds relief that she’s come out to her aunty who raised her as a child in Hong Kong.
“I think she needs to know who I am,” she said.
I just felt comfortable at the time and didn’t believe there were any cons with hiding it anymore.
At first, her aunty reacted with confusion and asked her whether there she could be bisexual because then there would be a chance of Mayna ending up with a man.
Through standing up for herself and providing family members such as her aunty with resources that she says wouldn’t have been available 10 years ago, she has started to achieve family acceptance of her identity.
“The Chinese materials you can get these days are very, very well done,” says Mayna, referring to the resources she provided her family with, in place of the negative information flooding Chinese media.
‘Young people are able to express themselves’
Mayna’s case is another example of LGBTIQ+ people slowing gaining greater family acceptance in China.
“I think it’s become more acceptable because a lot of young people are able to provide the education to their families and hand them accurate information,” she said.
Mayna says although there is no doubt that a lot of people are still struggling [with their identity], she has seen positive changes.
More and more young people are able to express themselves and have their community, whereas 10 years ago you didn’t see that representation in the media or on social media.
Once her aunty was able to understand what coming out meant, her concerns for Mayna became focused on the potential bullying and discrimination she may encounter in the workplace.
“I said to her racism and discrimination doesn’t stop. As a person of colour, you have to go through to that,” she said.
Unlike her teenage years, Mayna says she now has the capacity to “stand on her own two feet” and face such barriers.
“I explained to her that I have a community and I feel supported. I have the capacity to deal with this challenge in my life,” she said.
