“Lollies are so divisive,” says Margaret Stuart, a spokesperson for Allen’s Lollies. “There’s not a lot of middle ground when it comes to sweets - people either love them or hate them.”
As one of the first things we ever buy with our own money, lollies hold a special place in our hearts. And while there are some lollies that inspire near-universal love - red frogs, snakes, Caramello Koalas - there are others that alienate all but the most passionate fans.
From Fry’s Turkish Delight (“”) to Clinkers (“”) to bananas (which must hold a record for always being the last lollies to be eaten from party bags), there’s seemingly no shortage of lollies we love to hate. Wine gums (which are just pastilles without the delicious addition of extra sugar), aniseed rings (don’t even), candy teeth (look, I’m a fan, but I get the opposition) and musk sticks are all contenders for our most hated sweets, too.
“It’s funny, isn’t it?” says Stuart. “Lollies hold a very important place in our imaginations - they hark back to our childhoods. What we love and hate, we love and hate with real passion.” But while there are many lollies that many of us would shun, there’s just as many that inspire rabid love. Black lollies in general are pretty controversial, says Stuart, but when people love them, they really love them. “Black cats aren’t loved by the mainstream, but they do have a voracious fan base,” she says.
Chicos are another lolly that inspire derision - and passion. “There’s a group of people who just love chicos,” Stuart says. “We could never take them off the market because they really are loved, even though there’s a big part of the population that aren’t really into them at all.”
Perhaps the most controversial sweets of them all, spearmint leaves were discontinued in 2015 (along with green frogs) to an enormous outcry. “It was strange at the time,” says Stuart, “because honestly, people just hadn’t been buying them. Suddenly we took them off the market and I think people remembered how much they loved them.” They’re now back as part of the Allen’s pop-up Christmas stores. Last year, the pop-up ran out of their inventory of spearmint leaves in four days. “Nobody was more surprised than we were,” says Stuart.
Here's my definitive list of the worst lollies ever
12. Green frogs
Come on - they’re not as good as red, but they’re not that bad. I wouldn’t kick one out of a lolly bag.
11. Fry’s Turkish Delight
The chocolate’s chalky and the Turkish Delight isn’t exactly delightful.
10. Mint Pattie
A gummy disc of mint marshmallow? We’ll take a Golden Rough any day.
9. Candy teeth
Are they mint-flavoured to remind us to brush our teeth afterwards?
8. Wine gums
Give me a glass of Shiraz with a side of purple pastilles any day.
7. Aniseed rings
I have nothing to say about these except: they should not exist.
6. Clinkers
Biting into one of these is like hearing nails down a chalkboard. Hard pass.
5. Musk sticks
True story: musk oil, the scent of which is copied in these lollies, originally came from the glandular secretions of the musk ox. The more you know, huh?
4. Chicos
Chocolate and jelly lollies are church and state: let’s keep them separate, please.
3. Black cats
I’ll take my licorice in licorice form, thanks.
2. Spearmint leaves
Hard and gummy, and intensely mint-flavoured, these babies should be left on the shelf.
1. Bananas
Said no one, ever.
Tell us what are your lolly nemeses in the comments below!
